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Open Poetry #16
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Nature Girl
Junior Member
since 2001-10-19
Posts 31


0 posted 2001-10-19 03:11 AM


a simple song (imagine music, not poetry, which must be more simple sans a few exceptions). Thnks.


He tells her he hates
to see the tears she cries
He wipes them from her sight
and holds her chin up high
and kisses her eyes
Smoothes her hair back from
the shamble of her face
Smiles just to watch hers in reply
and when she breaks down
again he pulls her in
and lets her go

If she could give him the world
she would
She'd bleed herself dry just to make him
satisfied
But what he wants is the one thing she can't give
and how it kills
harder and harder and harder she tries

just one more breath
one more moment for him
the instant april grace of her smile
faded once again
she pulls her lips back
but it comes out in a wail
she whispers she can't but inside she fights
herself to the death to go on...
and hopes that means enough to let him stay

Strokes her fingers down his cheek
instead of whispering
that she needs him like the air he breathes
and she wonders just how long they both can keep this up
He tells her it will get better, that he's seen this before
that he's been where she is
and she has to think
that no, he had the chance to run himself down
without the worry of pulling out the ground from someone else
You do this to yourself he says
and yes she knows its mostly true
but wont tell him hes all that gets her through

and the nights wear on and the war wears on
and they get caught in the tangle
and she tries to tame her mind but the
ropes only seem to strangle
and half of her wants to push him away
to save him from the pull of her pain
let her wear herself out and come back
when there is strength enough for

just one more breath
one more moment for him
the instant april grace of her smile
faded once again
she pulls her lips back
but it comes out in a wail
she whispers she can't but inside she fights
herself to the death to go on... to try again...
and hopes that means enough to let him stay

shes so scared that he is all thats driving her on
she cant let go it just might be the death of
she rages on and on in her head
her heart is screaming
she whispers she cant but she goes on
she tries she says she cant but she keeps trying
and prays that its enough to let him stay

[This message has been edited by Nature Girl (edited 10-19-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Nature Girl - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2001-10-19 03:22 AM


Music background. Hootie and the Blowfish:
"Let her cry, if it eases all her pain
And if the sun comes up tomorrow...."

Welcome to passions. You have a unique style, with a quick pace in this poem.

" she pulls her lips back
but it comes out in a wail"

You can wail all you want to in here, and there will always be someone to wail back with you.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2001-10-19 08:37 AM


and the nights wear on and the war wears on
and they get caught in the tangle
and she tries to tame her mind but the
ropes only seem to strangle
and half of her wants to push him away
to save him from the pull of her pain
let her wear herself out and come back
when there is strength enough for

just one more breath
one more moment for him
the instant april grace of her smile
faded once again
she pulls her lips back
but it comes out in a wail
she whispers she can't but inside she fights
herself to the death to go on... to try again...
and hopes that means enough to let him stay
================================
this is excellent.......
this IS POETRY ...
a song is lyric, verse and rhyme set to music.
I didnt have to "imagine music", for your cadence and pace created it the harmonies and melodies for the reader.
Welcome to Poetry Land Nature Girl...
you make a lovely poetic entrance with this achingly bittersweet beauty.
I look  forward to more of your work.
jm

This distance has shown how the road remains alone
Now I'm looking in my life ... for a truth that is my own.

Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
3 posted 2001-10-19 09:33 AM


Magnificent writing that sings with every word I read. Welcome to Passions. I will be looking forward to reading more of your uniquely beautiful poetry.

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2001-10-19 09:43 AM



A simple song...indeed.  Welcome to Passions!  Please check your e-mail for a special Greeting!

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2001-10-19 09:50 AM




Great first post!!
I look forward to seeing more from you!
       ~Nancy Lee~

Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
6 posted 2001-10-19 09:50 AM


Welcome to passions and I love your entrance.
Well done.

Charisma

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
7 posted 2001-10-19 10:45 AM


I couldn't have stopped reading if I'd tried... this is great!!!! Welcome to Passions... I'll be looking forward to reading more of your work!
sunshinemist
Senior Member
since 2001-09-29
Posts 595
Fl. sunshines early mist
8 posted 2001-10-19 01:21 PM


Nice poem (song)   Welcome to Passions. Nice to meet you.

smiles ~Marie~
happiness is contentment of the heart

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
9 posted 2001-10-19 01:40 PM


Nature Girl - great first post - enjoyed. Welcome. Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

Elizabeth
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871
Minnesota
10 posted 2001-10-19 01:58 PM


Welcome Nature Girl! Nice to meet you. When I read this, I thought that I would like to sing this song. Well done!  

God bless America, my home sweet home.

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