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Open Poetry #16
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paladin
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Senior Member
since 2001-08-05
Posts 930
Pensacola,Fl.

0 posted 2001-10-18 09:54 PM


Waiting

Dark night,silent night
The damp smell of new sand bags
Movement in the wires


Flares

A flare floats gently
Casting pools of false day light
Images frozen


Tracers

Criss-crossing tracers
Red going out,green comming in
Acid lazer light show


Sounds

Deep thump of mortars
Staccato chatter of guns
Sudden screams then moans


Aftermath

Dark night,silent night
My heart no longer pounding
I feel so alive


paladin

© Copyright 2001 Robert E. Jackson - All Rights Reserved
Midnitesun
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since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
1 posted 2001-10-18 10:07 PM


This is some pretty vivid imagery of the reality of Nam, as it could also be for Desert Storm, and maybe the current battle.
And the ending screams of honesty.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
2 posted 2001-10-18 10:10 PM


Paladin...This is so very powerful it gave me chills.  I take it like many others you were in Nam.  Your imagery is great in this and I could smell the new damp sandbags.  Great work!!  
~hugs, Nancy~


  ~Time has cast a spell on you,
So that you won't ever forget me.~

Kit McCallum
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Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
3 posted 2001-10-18 10:16 PM


Incredible description in this powerful piece Paladin ... you've captured this moment in time with realistic clarity, very well done!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
4 posted 2001-10-18 10:57 PM


I know you know these images well and you passed them to me greatly
Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
5 posted 2001-10-18 11:01 PM


Paladin - Thankyou for sharing this chilling rememberance. Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
6 posted 2001-10-19 12:29 PM


Paladin~
Stirring~

'Aftermath

Dark night,silent night
My heart no longer pounding
I feel so alive'


*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
   noles1@totcon.com              

Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
7 posted 2001-10-19 08:42 AM


Vivid in every way. Bringing a night alive with awful reality. Very well done.

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

[This message has been edited by Startime (edited 10-19-2001).]

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
8 posted 2001-10-24 02:57 AM



paladin-
   Wow...very powerful write, my friend.
   Thanks for sharing.
   Hugs,
   ~Vicky


"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

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