navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #16 » Whisper softly the words
Open Poetry #16
Post A Reply Post New Topic Whisper softly the words Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298


0 posted 2001-10-15 02:06 PM



  
I find that I exist better these days,
when surrounded by solitude-no one's niceness
to remind me that you are no more.
No one to need, no one to miss...
so why oh why this time did I not
just say no, when I heard such a nice
Hello...
  
If I'd only looked I would have known
it was coming, flags of reminisce
had risen to half mast, but I stand now
surprised, staring into the eye of this storm.  
  
Relentlessly battered by the rain;
gale force winds uncover what I and the
sands of time had so deftly buried.
Hollow eyed specters point fingers and push
me to and fro, as if the storm alone
is not enough.
  
I cannot slay you with forgetfulness,
it is not in me to do so, but
memories buried alive, rise again;
their testimonial cries pierce the
stillness of the aftermath.

Without you, life is naught, but
choiceless am I.
Please my love, whisper softly the words
into my ear, tell me if its me that is keeping you
from leaving here.  
Kiss me gently and touch my eyelids closed
if its time for you
to go.



© Copyright 2001 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved
The Lady of Shallot
Senior Member
since 2001-10-03
Posts 818
USA
1 posted 2001-10-15 02:08 PM


Oh, my dear you have touched my heart with these words.

-befriend yourself and you will never be alone-

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2001-10-15 02:18 PM


Kiss me gently and touch my eyelids closed
if its time for you
to go.


very strong ending to a wonderfully emotional poem.... very nice work... nice indeed...


Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
3 posted 2001-10-15 02:31 PM


I am nearly speechless after this one.  An incredibly tender, sensitive write. Thank tou.
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

4 posted 2001-10-15 05:03 PM


A very nice and tender write JellyBean, I enjoyed  

Maree.

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
5 posted 2001-10-15 05:54 PM


Oh, I love this one... even though it pierces with its pain. Death cannot conquer love... love endures beyond the parting... and most times, that's comforting... we feel their prescence guarding us. Other times, it's a raw wound oozing when you thought healing had finally begun... and it's losing them all over again. Excellent writing, dear friend... even if I read through tears.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
6 posted 2001-10-15 06:09 PM


Such a wonderful ability you have, lady. You can speak of the deepest emotions and say them in such a simple, yet, hard-hitting way that makes it look effortless. That's talent...
sunshinemist
Senior Member
since 2001-09-29
Posts 595
Fl. sunshines early mist
7 posted 2001-10-15 06:13 PM


Jellybeans, this is a very sad, yet beautiful write filled with strong emotion. I loved the ending words. So soft and tenderly penned.    ~hugs~

smiles ~Marie~
happiness is contentment of the heart

Startime
Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918
Canada
8 posted 2001-10-15 07:01 PM


*sigh* filled with so much emotion. This poem is sadly beautiful. So much so that I had to wipe a tear from my eye. Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt poem as this one.

Love I leave with you whether it is in your life now or yet the essense of your dreams.

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
9 posted 2001-10-15 09:56 PM


JellyBeans~
Gal ... this is wonderful~

'If I'd only looked I would have known
it was coming, flags of reminisce
had risen to half mast, but I stand now
surprised, staring into the eye of this storm.'


I've run into that flag a time or two~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
   noles1@totcon.com              

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
10 posted 2001-10-15 10:00 PM


Please my love, whisper softly the words
into my ear, tell me if its me that is keeping you
from leaving here.  
Kiss me gently and touch my eyelids closed
if its time for you
to go.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now...this is beautiful!!  Enjoyed.  ~Nancy~

~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before.~
  

RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533

11 posted 2001-10-15 10:07 PM


An honest write of a fearful ending but wisdom prevails in the acceptance of eventual solitude.
jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
12 posted 2001-10-15 10:10 PM


Very thoughtful and wonderful rending of something we all feel some time or the other...you done this well my friend.


jwesley

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

13 posted 2001-10-16 10:43 AM


I thought when I wrote this that the subject was too overwritten, but hey you try arguing with *my* muse  *smile*…so to read your comments, and find that my words touched you…well…sigh…thank you so much,  Lady of Shallot, Cpat, midnightsun, and dark angel, am glad you enjoyed.

suthern, you know what your ok on my work means to me….thank you lady
Bal…a comment bestowing talent, from a writer as talented as you, makes me smile, thank you
suthern, you know what your ok on my work means to me….thank you lady
Bal…a comment bestowing talent, from a writer as talented as you, makes me smile, thank you
sunshinemist, startime and marge, enchantress, Rswells, and jwesley thank you so much
 

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #16 » Whisper softly the words

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary