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Open Poetry #16
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2001-10-14 03:48 AM


these whispers of mine
walking
(alive am I this night)
leaves in trees
are talking
and rattle with delight
and even rain
had to pause--
consideration
of my cause--
I gathered winds
of gentle breeze
and asked if they
would heed my pleas:


"Let him know he's not alone.
May he feel my arms' atone--
tell him he's wrought blood from stone--
tell him that he is my love."


[This message has been edited by serenity (edited 10-14-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
1 posted 2001-10-14 04:19 AM


A pleasure to read...James
Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
2 posted 2001-10-14 07:15 AM


Very nicely done,
Enjoyed the split in form,
One minor point;
Shouldn’t it be pleas
Instead of just plea?

Gloom

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
3 posted 2001-10-14 07:44 AM


YES.....there is much feelings and love within this small but powerful poem....Surely he knows....I certainly hope
so.

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2001-10-14 08:15 AM


Serenity~
The whispers got me~
*Hugs*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
   noles1@totcon.com              

Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
5 posted 2001-10-14 08:51 AM


This is such a pleasant read, K.  So glad to see something so soothing coming from you - you seemed to be in so much turmoil last I was here.  Brought a smile to me early this morning...     Thank you.


Michael

The Lady of Shallot
Senior Member
since 2001-10-03
Posts 818
USA
6 posted 2001-10-14 10:02 AM


Your words bring images fresh and move me greatly.

This is for you!

-befriend yourself and you will never be alone-

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
7 posted 2001-10-14 10:19 AM


Lady, are you reading my mind? *sigh*
This is wonderful.

I think we are beginning to have a small nip of that cold weather you were waiting for, eh?   Its beautifully cloudy here in Gulfport today, and there is a bit of cool sting in the air. I hope it lasts.  

Sometimes the heart needs the solace of solitude and silence.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

8 posted 2001-10-14 10:20 AM


I gathered winds
of gentle breeze
and asked if they
would heed my plea:

"Let him know he's not alone.
May he feel my arms' atone--
tell him he's wrought blood from stone--
tell him that he is my love
=====================================

whispers of rhyme divine me twin...
this is achingly beautiful in its longing and intend.
*sigh* so many mirrors...so many tears.
hearthugs sen
me

This distance has shown how the road remains alone
Now I'm looking in my life ... for a truth that is my own.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

9 posted 2001-10-14 03:12 PM


James...and you are a pleasure to hear from! Thank you!


PG: You are indeed, correct of course! Thanks for reading and the attention to detail!

Magnus...blush...he knows NOW...I gave him a copy! Hugs and thank you!

Marge...yes, I just was trying to find a way to describe what praying feels like, and "whispers walking" was just what popped into my head...Hugs, have missed ya!

Michael...always thrilled to know you read my stuff, as your just reading your work has been mentorship for me...I thank you kindly.
Hope all is well for you too!   I'd fill you in on what all has happened this year, but it's not that I wouldn't know where to begin, but where to END (still LOOKING for an end...sighs and winks!)

Lady S? Who are you and where do you find these wonderful graphics???? I thank you so much for your kindness!!!!

Jenn? I have a giggle for you---the person for whom this poem was written--guess what he calls me? lean closer...gonna whisper this one to you---TEMPTRESS!!!! ROFLMAO
Thanks for reading!

My twin...hmmm...will send pics if I can...grin...winks...sighs...wiping the tears...LOVE YA!!!

Thanks all, just thought I'd give you all a break from my angst...no need for EVERYBODY to suffer!  


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