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Open Poetry #16
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catalinamoon
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

0 posted 2001-10-12 02:08 PM


I'm spinning
atop a painted horse
in circles
endless continuum
he loves me
he loves me not
my horse wears pink flowers
and a smile
but she is a bit dizzy
spinning
and where she stops
nobody knows..

© Copyright 2001 Sandra - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2001-10-12 02:12 PM


(mine is a Carousel Rabbit)  
"in circles
endless continuum
he loves me
he loves me not"

very well done!  

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

2 posted 2001-10-12 02:15 PM


my horse wears pink flowers
and a smile
but she is a bit dizzy

Not sure if it was supposed to but this part made me smile.
Maybe if she slows down a bit, you could jump off...somehow though, I think you'll wait to see just where the ride ends.  Never know.  Could end in love.
I like the way you did this.

Decaflame
Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635

3 posted 2001-10-12 02:16 PM



Well hopefully in his arms!

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
4 posted 2001-10-12 02:19 PM


Had to reply, Declaflame..you SAID it, that is exactly where it needs to stop..

Thanks everyone who reads this, its my true life right now, just spinning..
Sandra

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
5 posted 2001-10-12 02:47 PM


Who says she needs to stop?  (But perhaps a straight line makes for a "better" direction than a circle...?)

-MVS

"Learn to let go of fear, doubt, and disbelief..."  --THE MATRIX

http://www.davidicke.com/icke/index1c.html

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2001-10-12 04:26 PM


Sandra!  Next time around gingerly reach over and grab the brass ring!!  That's it!!  You've got it!
~hugs, Nancy~

~I've loved you forever, in lifetimes before.~
  

Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
7 posted 2001-10-12 04:30 PM


An enjoyable read....I remember those moments
on a carousel.  The spinning and my own dizziness.

Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
8 posted 2001-10-12 08:25 PM


just make sure that you're hanging on to the right horse. . .  

wonderful. . .

-------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

The Lady of Shallot
Senior Member
since 2001-10-03
Posts 818
USA
9 posted 2001-10-12 08:30 PM


This is a fabulous visual poem!

-befriend yourself and you will never be alone-

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
10 posted 2001-10-12 08:45 PM


Yes, definitely cool visuals, Sandra...this is very cleverly written...I like it a lot...great style!

sp  

And did you know with the rain in your pockets,
you can change the weather...

rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
11 posted 2001-10-12 08:58 PM


You spun such a great image here! I hope you find laughter and love on your ride around. (And maybe the one in front of you on the stallion could lend something interesting!)  

Sincerely,
Regina

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
12 posted 2001-10-13 06:23 PM



Cool use of a metaphor, I really liked this one  

Melissa~

"Poetry is not an opinion expressed...
it is a song that rises from a bleeding
wound...or a smiling mouth"

~Kahlil Gibran~

Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
13 posted 2001-10-13 06:29 PM




(smiles) Your beautiful lovely words are always filled with such whimsical beauty! (smiles) I know this feeling all too well too, and it's sure a magical feeling! (smiles) Sooooooo beautiful, sweet Sandra, I love it! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sandra, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

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