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Open Poetry #16
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Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia

0 posted 2001-10-10 03:30 AM




Slapped by a willow...
trying to get rid of it,
it got rid of me.


Onionskin is thin.
Egos and hearts; our thin two.
Slice them and they cry.


Wandering closely,
attracted to that which burns,
proverbial moth.

© Copyright 2001 Kathleen Kacy Stafford - All Rights Reserved
The Lady of Shallot
Senior Member
since 2001-10-03
Posts 818
USA
1 posted 2001-10-10 09:17 AM


Kathleen, this is very good, I love the last line in particular!

-befriend yourself and you will never be alone-

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
2 posted 2001-10-10 09:33 AM


Willow slaps my window with the Autumn wind,
Trying to drive me from the room with rhythm,
So I run screaming,
My nerves so thin like a peeled onion,
The mental torment of silence does end,
So I sit sobbing,
Prismatic glass forces the light to bend,
Shatters into spectral parts as sends,
It’s entrancing.

Gloom

Took a few of your elements and expanded a touch,
hope you don't mind.


Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2001-10-10 09:34 AM


Wandering closely,
attracted to that which burns,
proverbial moth.

============================

you know me well  
very cool Haiku/Senyrus
liked the wit of the second one
well done poetess M-sun

Here I stand like it matters...
once love is through-it gets scattered by the rain
and pain gives me the right to be unkind ...

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
4 posted 2001-10-10 11:55 AM


Lady of Shallot: Glad you enjoyed, and we are all moths occasionally.

Professor: I love it! I'm peelin' off the page for my library.

Janet Marie: Thanks, and glad you liked the wit of two one.

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
5 posted 2001-10-10 07:58 PM


I really like these. . . slices of life. . . pictures from the mind of the poet. . .

well done. . .  

-------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
6 posted 2001-10-10 09:21 PM


Dear Sven, you are one of the best slices of life....and you never make me cry.
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