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Open Poetry #16
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desperado
Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 312
FT Hood,Tx

0 posted 2001-10-05 08:36 PM


forgive me I failed
though right now I don't seem to care
it's over it's gone
I'm lost like I've always been
yet I'm free now to admit it

forgive me I'm evil
soft and sweet on the outside
yet poisoned underneath
addictive and cancerous all at once
you don't want me

forgive me I'm selfish
I don't want your issues or baggage
my hands are full with mine
and I don't want to share
cause I'm too proud

forgive me I'm worthless
can't pay the bills my mouth purchases
broke and twisted lost and confused
I'm nothing you really want or can use
cause I'm ugly

forgive me it's over
forgive me I failed
forgive me I'm evil
forgive me I'm selfish
forgive me I'm worthless
cause I'm ugly
cause I'm proud
you don't want me
yet now I'm free to admit it
forgive me I'm dying inside
forgive me
I'm dead

© Copyright 2001 James Webster - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2001-10-05 08:39 PM


wow, very intense....I like this
Moon Dust
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Member Elite
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177
Skelmersdale, UK
2 posted 2001-10-05 08:46 PM


wow ok I just dont know what to say except well written

I breathe the dust, the dust is me.


The Lady of Shallot
Senior Member
since 2001-10-03
Posts 818
USA
3 posted 2001-10-05 08:52 PM


forgive me I'm evil
                    soft and sweet on the outside
                    yet poisoned underneath
                    addictive and cancerous all at once
                    you don't want me"

very intense. It's hard to think someone could be this way, sometimes they are and they don't want to be. Very intense.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

4 posted 2001-10-05 09:08 PM


Well I don't know what to say except for, it's powerful and emotional and great writing  

Maree.

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
5 posted 2001-10-05 09:14 PM


i forgive you!!!!!!!!



*wink*

is it still over???? lol

hey you!!
you come ALIVE in this!

great lines here, my scrabbled friend

quote:
forgive me I'm selfish
I don't want your issues or baggage
my hands are full with mine
and I don't want to share
cause I'm too proud


lemme ask you this... are you absolutely SURE, you haven't been sneaking a peak at themes from my notes? hehe.... i know i said a paraphrase of this some time or another... geesh

great write, first class!!! (you'll always be first class in my book, no matter what *grin)

Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
6 posted 2001-10-05 09:16 PM


it's hard to come to grips with these feelings. . . you're beginning. . .

well done. . .

--------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Midnitesun
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since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
7 posted 2001-10-05 10:17 PM


Well said, you spoke for so many people here:

"forgive me I'm selfish
I don't want your issues or baggage
my hands are full with mine
and I don't want to share
cause I'm too proud"

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
8 posted 2001-10-05 10:32 PM


I forgive ya too, cuz you're my scrambled friend too... You're not so bad, ya know...
Martie
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
9 posted 2001-10-05 10:48 PM


desperado--this is destressing to read..and powerful with emotion.  I hope you're alright.
Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
10 posted 2001-10-05 11:04 PM


Powerful stuff. I hear yah. You should have been here last night...we were all in this mood (well. Some of us were). Tough write, very well expressed.

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

Masked Intruder
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Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets
11 posted 2001-10-06 01:02 AM


Yer too far away to hit, so I'll just say that yer doin good in the writin world.  How's you in the real world?

Good to see ya, bro.  Catch ya around.

You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep. -- Navajo Proverb

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
12 posted 2001-10-06 01:08 AM


Well, your writing is intense in its usual way. I enjoyed the power and honesty in this a lot, Des. Its great as always to see your writing here. Take care of you.

*Jenn*

Sometimes the heart needs the solace of solitude and silence.

Saxoness
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Senior Member
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102
Texas
13 posted 2001-10-07 04:23 PM


I forgive you for pain
I forgive you for sorrow
But how can I let go again
and give away tomorrow?

There was so much to say
and so much to hide
and by losing today
you kept all your pride.

I've cried all I cared to
I've screamed all I could
And though I still love you
perhaps I'm no good.

I'm missing my classes
I'm missing my meals
Can I live till it passes
I'll die before this heals

I wake up sobbing
I go to sleep in tears
my friends have all left me
They can't calm my fears

My heart lives in snow
and trust long ago died
So I want you to know
you're not the only one dead inside.

"Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone
I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me."
                                

Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

14 posted 2001-10-07 05:53 PM


When you are forgiven, you begin to live again, but you first have to forgive yourself.  

Kathleen
nickname "Kay"

"Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently."

Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
15 posted 2001-10-08 06:32 AM


Desperado~
I found that the intensity reached in and 'hit me with both barrels'~

'forgive me I'm worthless
can't pay the bills my mouth purchases'


Wow ... reaching deep with this one~
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com            

Dee
Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia
16 posted 2001-10-08 10:06 PM


Wow. Incredibly strong write here Desperado. Nothing to improve in this one.

Dee

I wish you every happiness and may you always have the best of the good things in life.     a brand

Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
17 posted 2001-10-08 10:30 PM


First we must forgive ourselves. This is a great read. Chris

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

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