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Open Poetry #16
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1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

0 posted 2001-10-04 04:54 PM



Granted

I have allowed
you many things
with a loss
that granting brings
a love permitted
inside to die
no longer shall
you make me cry
I realize it’s alright
to be alone
when you can call
your life your own
can’t take away
who I am,  I remain
no matter what you take
from me to retain
refusing to suffer
I can stand
there is no balance
in the weight of command
yes, I allowed you
the last time to see my tears
replacing them with strength
as fear appears
and I have been given
the door and the key
from now on the granting
will be for me


"...the rest is silence" (Hamlet)  Shakespeare

© Copyright 2001 Helen Chambers - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2001-10-04 04:58 PM


Slick,
Sounds good to me, enjoyed

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2001-10-04 05:01 PM


nicely done... and once a person reaches the place they have that strength and understanding inside them..no one can take it....and the granting is indeed yours...


The Lady of Shallot
Senior Member
since 2001-10-03
Posts 818
USA
3 posted 2001-10-04 05:55 PM


"I realize it’s alright
to be alone"

Yes, I suppose that it is. take care, dear lady.

sunshinemist
Senior Member
since 2001-09-29
Posts 595
Fl. sunshines early mist
4 posted 2001-10-04 06:15 PM


yes, I allowed you
the last time to see my tears
replacing them with strength
as fear appears
and I have been given
the door and the key
from now on the granting
will be for me

Very beautiful, said with determination.

warm smiles,
~Marie~  

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
5 posted 2001-10-04 09:16 PM



You go girl!    Well said!
I love the realization, purge and inner power within this one~

Take care,
Melissa~

"Poetry is not an opinion expressed...
it is a song that rises from a bleeding
wound...or a smiling mouth"

~Kahlil Gibran~

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
6 posted 2001-10-05 09:07 AM


I wish you luck and strength, sweet Ms. Slick.  Keep this poem close to your heart and in your thoughts.
Apachecat906
Member
since 2001-09-04
Posts 217
Michigan, USA
7 posted 2001-10-05 10:00 AM


Simply put.  It's matter of fact, succinct, the way strength comes, and I don't know if you intended it but even the way the words are arranged in a pillar helps carry this poem. I liked this one a lot.


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