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Open Poetry #16
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

0 posted 2001-10-03 10:21 PM


Blue
how else to describe this
sinking?
Because the skies won't smile at me
and bring me winter snows.
Because this beach is empty of you
and I cannot hold a hand on my way down.
You asked me if I'd give you my heart
if you asked for it.
I would but truthfully
I'm rather afraid
and perhaps there is still a bruise or two there.
I am denied
I
am
denied
Stamped for life and choking on the ink.
I am denied
but by who?


Sometimes the heart needs the solace of solitude and silence.

© Copyright 2001 Jennifer - All Rights Reserved
Logan
Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641
Arkansas
1 posted 2001-10-03 10:35 PM


Well, certainly not by me, gentle one..for who could deny one as sweet as you..very gentle smile
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
2 posted 2001-10-03 11:00 PM


Hi Temptress, you know I hate to see you down, but this is beautifully written.

Hoping this is just an imaginative write.

Cor

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

3 posted 2001-10-04 08:25 AM


Well dear poet... I would say the one denying you is in many ways you.... but you knew that..it is evedent the construction of the poem points to this... still it is denial..whether self imposed or not and just as palpable, just as real. My question to you would be how to end self imposed denial?

The poem is very nicely done. Capturing the feeling with both the words and the form drawing the reader into the last few lines with a sense that there is almost a defeat in the thought winding down to another question, one does not want to explore too deeply for fear of the answer and its consequences... your talent is showing here. As usual..an impressive expression from your pen that touches the soul as well as the intellect.



Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
4 posted 2001-10-04 09:43 AM


There shall be no depression allowed within our Passionate walls today - Put on your smile and have some fun...
SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
5 posted 2001-10-04 10:18 AM


Very well written. Sorry, that you are so depressed.
sunshinemist
Senior Member
since 2001-09-29
Posts 595
Fl. sunshines early mist
6 posted 2001-10-04 10:39 AM


Temptress,

Just a little breath of cheer
Remember you have friends..
Always near.

Warm smiles, and hugs, ~Marie~  

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
7 posted 2001-10-05 09:38 PM


indeed. . . remember that you have many friends. . . and that we're all here. . .

who denies you??  only you have the answer. . .

well done. . . you know,, I have to come up with a nickname for you. . . just like "Sven Pen"!  LOL  

----------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
8 posted 2001-10-06 01:31 AM


Logan,
I know you couldn't, and that is what I find so dear about you, Sweet Warrior. Thank you for reading.

Corinne,
Don't you worry. I always get back up one way or another. Writing is always a big help. I'm glad you enjoyed this one. Its wonderful to see you around. Take care!  

Cpat Hair,
Sometimes it isn't good to end self imposed denial at the cost of someone else's heart. Thank you for the rest of your thoughts on this, and I am glad that you consider what it shining through my work to be talent.  

NANNERS!
Welp..Its another night, and I promise to take off the depression cap for a while. Thanks for the thoughts and the reprimand, Lady!

Sunshinemist,
I've noticed you reading lately, and i don't often get to reply with a thank you; so I'll tell you thanks now. I'm glad you enjoyed this, and I do have some wonderful friends and supporters here. Thank you for your offer of friendship.  

SmartChick,
Writing always helps me when I'm depressed a bit, and being depressed a bit makes me remember I'm still here.   I'm glad you enjoyed this.  

Beautiful Heart,
You are wonderful. Did I ever tell you that? I'm sure I have.   Of course its only I who has the answer to my question, and there are few who I can relate that to.   I just SHIVER to know what kind of nickname you might use on me as my 'reward' for calling you Sven Pen! Thanks for reading. I'm glad you liked it.  






Sometimes the heart needs the solace of solitude and silence.

[This message has been edited by Temptress (edited 10-06-2001).]

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