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Open Poetry #16
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JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

0 posted 2001-10-02 02:51 PM


Sarah's Back In Town

It's 2:00 a.m. again and I suddenly realize
that the coffee ran our sometime between
yesterday and today but that's alright
I'll just add it to the list on the refrigerator
with the rum and coke and peanut brittle and she'll get it in the afternoon while I'm at work and she's draggin' herself out of bed reachin' for the bread to make some toast and a cup of coffee to clear her head.
Not too many things as worthless as a pen that won't write at 2:00 a.m. except a woman that doesn't know how to kiss and has no desire to learn or a pickup truck that won't start when you have to go and pick up Sarah at 2:00 a.m. in the morning because she just got off work at the all night diner.
Hey who knows maybe she'll bring home some left over coffee when she finally stumbles in at who knows when.
She'll spike it with rum or cognac at the same moment she hits the diner's parking lot.
She's such a nice girl and everybody knows she would never drink while on the job or at least she hasn't since they fired her from that 50's diner that was so close that it was only two blocks and one coffee cup away from where we stay.
Guess I'll just go kiss my pillow and hope she wakes me up when she comes round cause I could sure suck some of that coffee down and maybe get a kiss or two now that Sarah's back around.

JamesLee
October02
2001

© Copyright 2001 JamesMichael - All Rights Reserved
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
1 posted 2001-10-02 05:08 PM


~Smiling at you~ JamesM

~Wynter

"The worst prison would be a closed heart".
...Pope John Paul II



Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
2 posted 2001-10-02 07:25 PM


this kind of has that "beat" quality to it for me. . .

I like it James. . .

------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
3 posted 2001-10-02 10:25 PM


Interesting story here. Though I couldn't quite figure out whether you were glad Sarah was back or not. Good write

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

BloomingRose
Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092
Florida
4 posted 2001-10-03 08:42 AM


Sounds like you need a new girl, and Sarah needs rehab.
*smiling*

Deb

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
5 posted 2001-10-03 11:54 PM


yeah..i was a little unsure on wether you were happy or not that sarah was back in town..

but i truly loved the read..it had a very silver screen quality about it..i could see each picture as it went from reel to reel....

    

hugs, g


~dgvarner/fallen rain~

"i laugh,i love,i hope,i try..i hurt,i need,i fear,i cry..and i know you do the same things too..so we're really not that different,me & you"  c raye

[This message has been edited by dgvarner (edited 10-03-2001).]

Kevin
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729
Torrington, Ct, Usa
6 posted 2001-10-04 07:42 AM


i love the underlying tension of emotions  
this is good stuff
new for me

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

7 posted 2001-10-04 09:11 AM


I like the story telling quality to this..and I think you have a knack for telling a story that captures the readers attention. Overall I enjoyed quite a great deal...

now a couple of things that confused me...
there seems to be an inconsistancy in whether there is coffee inthe house or not... if you are out, how can she rise late afternoon and make herself a cup, when you have put it on the list? Then..are youpicking her up at the diner and if so..how can she come in at who knows when?

(smiling) My mind is way to literal this morning... and poetic license can account for all the questions I have asked...still I had to ask.... hope you don't mind


JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
8 posted 2001-10-05 07:02 AM


Thank you Wynter, Sven, Tracey, Deb, dgvarner, Kevin and Cpat Hair for reading and responding...I appreciate it...
Cpat Hair Is there coffee in the house?
Keep in mind that this poem is a combination of thoughts and actions...he wakes up at 2:00 a.m. hoping there is coffee, finding none he tries to write it on the shopping list, but at 2:00 a.m. in the morning the pen doesn't work, so he hopes his woman will bring some home in her thermos from the diner...he is only thinking to himself that later in the afternoon she will arise and reach for the toast and the coffee...of course she will not find any coffee unless she brings some home from the diner as it was to be her task to buy some more coffee when she woke up and realized all the coffee was fini...
Am I picking her up at the diner?
Well I was but again it was 2:00 a.m. in the morning and weird things happen at that hour and unfortunately since the pickup wouldn't start he went back to bed and kissed the pillow...
How did she get home?
A friend, a taxi, roller skates...
Keep in mind that some parts of this poem  are fashioned by reality and some are fantasy...
But I do know a woman named Sarah...
and we have shared a few kisses...
I am fashioning pieces for her...James

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
9 posted 2001-10-05 01:02 PM


enjoyed your explanation...i usually ruin the whole poem by trying to explain mine..lol

i just think this is such a cool poem..even without explanation..leaving some things to the wondering mind...  

hugs, g

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
10 posted 2001-10-05 01:07 PM


James - you are one lucky guy to love like you do - aren't women the grandest?

[This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 10-05-2001).]

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
11 posted 2001-10-05 03:48 PM


Lucky Sarah!!     Good write.

~Time has cast a spell on you,
So that you won't ever forget me.~
  

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