navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #16 » The Perfect Words
Open Poetry #16
Post A Reply Post New Topic The Perfect Words Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Apachecat906
Member
since 2001-09-04
Posts 217
Michigan, USA

0 posted 2001-09-28 01:40 PM



The Perfect Words

I’m looking for the perfect words
To bring my baby home
But I can’t seem to say them right
So I’m searching for a poem

Something about forgiveness
Where the mistake has happened before
Something about the love that's gone
From the man that I adore

Something about a promise
One that won't be believed
Something about the reasons why
I'd die if he really leaves.

Something about the fear I feel
When he walks out of my door
Something true and beautiful
That I haven’t said before

Something that will make him feel
The way he used to feel
Something that will prove to him
This time I am for real

Something of an explanation
For why I hurt him so
Something sort of like a  prayer
So God won’t let him go

Does anyone know any words
That might gently touch his heart?
Because if I can’t make it right
I will surely fall apart

by Carrie

(Thanks Nan, for suggesting I finish my own poem instead of trying to borrow someone else's words.)

[This message has been edited by Apachecat906 (edited 09-28-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Carrie A. Mead - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2001-09-28 01:45 PM


Carrie, I say give him this   it's wonderful  
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2001-09-28 02:00 PM


Trust me ... you just found them...
and you wrapped them up in a bows of rhyme and sweet sincerity.
A lovely intend and a clever twist and play on words.
well done poetess Carrie  

Well tomorrow holds only mystery
And who's to say what might be
But in you I found a love so strong
The sun and the moon looked on in jealousy

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2001-09-28 02:32 PM


Apachecat,
I agree with JM. Enjoyed the read.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
4 posted 2001-09-28 03:26 PM


I believe these words can only come from your heart...James
Apachecat906
Member
since 2001-09-04
Posts 217
Michigan, USA
5 posted 2001-09-28 04:13 PM


Thanks, everyone, for taking the time to read and comment. It did indeed come from the heart.
I hope he feels the same way about this poem, I gave it to him today. So...we'll see.  

Thanks,
Carrie

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
6 posted 2001-09-28 05:32 PM


nice
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
7 posted 2001-09-28 05:58 PM


It looks like you found some wonderful words to say it right here. Nice work.  

Sometimes the heart needs the solace of solitude and silence.

The Lonely Stranger
Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 361
Upstate, NY, USA
8 posted 2001-09-28 07:06 PM


Very pretty, very pretty indeed

No one ever listened themselves into trouble.

[This message has been edited by The Lonely Stranger (edited 09-28-2001).]

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

9 posted 2001-09-29 12:34 PM


Sometimes, actions speak louder than words.  Hope it all works out.
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
10 posted 2001-09-29 11:08 AM


hoping for the best. . .

indeed, the best words always come from us. . . from the heart. . . great job. . .  

-----------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
11 posted 2001-09-29 08:25 PM


It's never easy to watch someone leave, but if his heart isn't in it I doubt you'd really want him back.  Just be sure of what YOU want before jumping to any conclusions.  This was a good write.  Full of much truth and feeling.

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
12 posted 2001-10-09 12:53 PM


Apache--the sincere feelings in this poem are written from your heart...perhaps he will listen.  I hope so.
Apachecat906
Member
since 2001-09-04
Posts 217
Michigan, USA
13 posted 2001-10-09 01:31 PM


Thanks, Martie, for your thought of hope.  I'm still holding on to a little shread of it.  
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #16 » The Perfect Words

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary