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Open Poetry #16
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the draining
| Open Poetry #16 |
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the draining |
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howpeculiar Member
since 2000-12-12
Posts 56 |
My love was once cobblestones rubbed smooth by bare feet; a silver dart of stream in meadows below the tundra; hot tea and a summer thunderstorm near an empty hearth on a chair that has held the warm curled flesh of many generations and held me to you in its wooden slenderness; hands cool as basement floors in summer soft as a mothers voice waking her child to Sunday sun; a great tide of passion, near worship, so great in swelling sound and vibration, I could only arch my body outward and fold my soul into a moan; Now Emptiness is of everything. The world is a barrel with the water bled dry; bare shell. There is silence where once was music, And it all was music... I understand falling apart, my soul is grime in my hands, not even worth swallowing. Worse, my heart is blank. That is the most fearsome discovery: to have a pull where I am missing; I feel the flex, the tightness where grief should begin to burn... Instead I am outline, not even sore through the numbness, only deadly tired. And waking feels less than dreams. Horror was the first to hemorrhage then expire ( I think ) I must be hollow waste and plastic now: nothing beats, drums, or swoons, only moves with the listless thump of subsistence... too internal to slow completely, only dull. Kate showed me a picture of a plane yesterday. I flinched and squeezed my eyes before I could mouth no. please. I pause on the blocks that were once power; where people walk in business suits and white cloth masks It feels blasphemous to be standing, to sleep, to open my lips or meet anyone’s eyes, to conquer the idea of affection, to inhale and yet I breathe dust that was once bones to love is to tame god but god is gone |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Oh my...I don't have the words to reply right now to this..so powerful with emotion, that I understand..so well decribed grief! Hugs! |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I don't think I've read anything from you before. I've got to say, I too, am pretty speechless. This is incredible poetry concerning a very unpoetic day. Thank you for this. |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I can not begin to tell you how powerful your poem is especially to me personally having lost friends in this disaster. I felt every single word, and as you speak the uttermost truth, it is painful. However, I must comment on the continuity and style, etc. so therefore it was excellent, and these lines scream at me... There is silence where once was music, And it all was music... And yes it was, it was all music! However, I believe there will be music again, louder than ever! Kudos, this was extremely well done. ~Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self~ Cyril Connolly |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
My heart feels your deep pain and sorrow. I have no words to ease the pain. I've heard it said that time heals...but I believe that sometimes it just passes. May the love you knew remain a strong enough memory to bring some measure of comfort. |
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walker Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240Florida |
We all feel drained, wonderfully expressed. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Howpeculiar - your wonderful style reflects familiarity. This is a great write. I enjoyed it thoroughly..  |
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illusion Member
since 2001-06-19
Posts 296 |
This is incredibly powerful and painful. I don't think I've read grief written better. |
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howpeculiar Member
since 2000-12-12
Posts 56 |
"I've heard it said that time heals...but I believe that sometimes it just passes." The past few weeks; they've been almost like a glazed insanity, haven't they? I see people out, working, living, laughing, and it stuns me ... how can we exist beside the crumble that use to be people? And I think we all feel that survivor’s guilt, and somehow between it all the sweet slicing light of inspiration when the candle vigils take place, when the streets are crowded with American flags, when so many other countries send their incredible support and love. And we feel the sick shock of it when someone on the street treats another with disrespect; as if we didn't get a lesson in humanity already. It's been so hard to write, to try and confine what I feel into language, but how fortunate to have this sanctuary to hang my heart... Martie, Lovely poetess, it's heartening just to see your reply ... keep your words, sometimes they are simply too small. But your sentiments and understanding are far, far from. I hope you are dealing ok, and that things are right in your world. Hugs! Duncan, I’m almost unsure about your thanks... but if this has benefited anyone in anyway, than it is much more than me or my intentions; how do I repay that kind of gratitude? I hope for you something larger than I am able to give. Mysteria, I am so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine this tragedy being any closer and yet for you it must be...~big warm smile~ but you hold that strength and optimism that is so needed... it will all sing again. Midnitesun, your statement was a claw in my heart ... because right now it is all too true. Thank you for your bare empathy. But as lost as things are now, I know the draining will stop; I know that one day I will wake up and finally feel warmth again ... lately, it has just been so hard to keep high hopes, or any hope; my soul feels so bare sometimes I think I must be only skin solidified, an yet I still move slowly, slowly forward... we must. walker, It shows, and it frightens me, and I am waiting hungrily for the day when we begin to fill. nan, thank you. illusion, I don't quite know what to say to this... I guess that I wish it didn't have to be written... but thank you. |
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