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Open Poetry #16
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Glass Tube Bit (With spoiler explanation reply)
| Open Poetry #16 |
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Glass Tube Bit (With spoiler explanation reply) |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) 
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Fade 'way from the glass tube bit So I can walk this path with you Please don’t say where we could get I see this road is paved for two Put away your belt clip ape Your ears will burn from rumor Ornamental and for escape It leads to fatal tumor Set aside your silver spinner I’d like to keep your quickened stride But I know you’re no beginner I’m just a mouth that’s open wide Feed me some divided pellets Like you do for all your things Look at me but can you tell its Time to pull my shiny strings I let you out along the way In someone else’s fresh mowed lawn I know you will not mind to stay Or will you even know you’re gone [This message has been edited by wayoutwalt (edited 09-25-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Walt Burns - All Rights Reserved | |||
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
Very good. I enjoyed reading it. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ok, ok, this is over my head, but not for long...I shall be back to dissect this! |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
This is definately a language all it's own, and interesting indeed. I'm intrigued to say the least. Glass tube bit? Fragile tube that might shatter if going the wrong direction while being led somewhere? Enlighten us Walty! Sincerely, Regina |
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Tracey Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808where insanity meets breeding |
This has got me thinking. Interesting. Gonna go back and ponder some more If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please? |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
Yes I have been very cryptic of late and I need to explain this one yuh. The poem is about technology draining a friendship (maybe a marriage). The glass tube bit is a TV and the person is being led around by it. I want them to get away from it and pay attention to me. The belt clip ape is a belt clipped cell phone (which I pay too much attention to in real life) and it is the monkey on the person's shoulder. The silver spinner is a personal CD player. I finally get this person to go out and walk with me and all they do is listen to their Cd player. I am seen as a mouth open wide as in the person cannot hear me and also as a starving baby bird waiting for a worm of attention. Divided pellets goes along with undivided attention which I can only get divided of and I am saying these are batteries. The last stanza I am tired of this person keeping his or her nose in their techy stuff so I abandon them in someone elses lawn and they never look up to notice. Poem was inspired by my friend Cruz o yuh and I am the bad techy in the poem o yuh! |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Walt~ I had the 'glass tube' as the computer screen, but other than that the only 'throw' was the 'pellets' ... YOU IS AMAZING ~ Now who would have figure you as the 'bad techy' ? LOL ! Too cool, mon ! Love n' *Hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Sheesh, I didn't know there could be a bad "techie", but if you say so! Man, you truly had me going but in an entirely other direction than you explained, and I kinda like your version better, lol, take care Walt! ~Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self~ Cyril Connolly |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
Okay, I'm back...And I like what you wrote...as I now get it, and You have made such an explanation. Poetry in itself. Tech stuff can put a wide gap between us and the living. Bravo Walt! The bit, the ape, the silver spinner & divided pellets, very cool way to describe our tech affections. I'd like to hear what you would describe video games as? LOL! Thank you for sharing! Sincerely, Regina |
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cruz Member
since 2000-07-18
Posts 282Dallas,Texas USA |
this is way cool walt! your vocabulary and use of metaphor is a jolt into the new millenium. i like every word in every stanza and i think your poem rocks! |
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