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Open Poetry #16
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Temptress
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Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

0 posted 2001-09-25 04:45 AM


Sell me on the southern breeze
while Autumn comes late to the bedside of summer.
Hearing last words and last breaths
as tan bodies slather themselves with a new mood.
Breathe for me as I am silent in my memories,
while they flood my September soul
and quiet this secret need for distant loves
lost long ago in the battle of my youth.
I am not old but in my mind,
and the slow gaze of a season's new cloak
entices me into fighting for a true age.
Once the wonder of summer favored me,
and now the cool arms of September are things I endeavour toward
like an orphaned elder child lost long ago somewhere inside herself.
Sell me on the southern breeze while Autumn says one last goodbye to summer,
Standing at the bedside ready to claim me
as I walk away from another season,
to approach new storms and new ways of inspiration.



Sometimes the heart needs the solace of solitude and silence.

© Copyright 2001 Jennifer - All Rights Reserved
Masked Intruder
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 Tours
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets
1 posted 2001-09-25 04:56 AM


My eyes are falling asleep on me here.  And it's all your fault! *grins*  But I think this was worth staying up for.  I like being able to put your voice to your writings now.  It adds a whole new dimension to my appreciation for your writing.  Great write...see you when I wake up.

You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep. -- Navajo Proverb

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2001-09-25 08:26 AM


Breathe for me as I am silent in my memories,
while they flood my September soul
and quiet this secret need for distant loves
lost long ago in the battle of my youth.
I am not old but in my mind,
and the slow gaze of a season's new cloak
entices me into fighting for a true age.


lovely lines... and a lovely poem... very impressive in its hint of abstraction yet wrapped around the common changing of season.

I enjoyed

Songbird
Member Elite
since 1999-12-15
Posts 2184
Missouri
3 posted 2001-09-25 09:22 AM


Sell me on the southern breeze... great line.. but I think you meant "sail"? The whole poem is great, and enjoyed reading it.

The Rusty Knight
Member
since 2001-08-29
Posts 414
Texas
4 posted 2001-09-25 10:17 AM


What a way to welcome in  a new season....It has a somber lonely feel to it...almost like the wind has stopped right before a rain.

Death comes not when we cease to breathe, but when we cease to dream.

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown
5 posted 2001-09-25 10:20 AM


This is good. Nice poem!
Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
6 posted 2001-09-25 06:16 PM


I love the line "Sell me on the Southern breeze. . . " as if we would have to!!

This too:
quote:
I am not old but in my mind,
and the slow gaze of a season's new cloak
entices me into fighting for a true age.


I like this. . . this is abstract. . . it makes you think, but it doesn't leave us lost into what you mean here. . . does that make sense???

Yes, subtle in its abstractions. . . and yet, very perfect in it's pictures. . . great job. . .  

---------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

rosepetals25
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076
PA
7 posted 2001-09-25 06:34 PM


Temptress,

"Breathe for me as I am silent in my memories,
while they flood my September soul"

I cannot tell you how much I LOVE those lines.  Well done and greatly enjoyed  

TaraB

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
8 posted 2001-09-25 08:33 PM


as I walk away from another season,
to approach new storms and new ways of inspiration"

WOW WOW WOW, I love this!!! the whole poem...


Greeneyes~


*****

I keep my ideals,
because in spite of everything,
I still believe that
people are really good at heart.
Anne Frank
09*12*01


Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
9 posted 2001-09-25 09:05 PM


What a wonderful graceful way to move from one space in time and life to another. As the seasons pass, so does youth, but not our memories.  
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
10 posted 2001-09-25 09:13 PM


Remarkable writing...enjoyed!!


~Time has cast a spell on you,
So that you won't ever forget me.~
  

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