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Grubbymitts
Junior Member

since 2001-08-30

Posts 37
UK

0 posted 2001-09-23 02:48 AM

   The Ballad of Sweet Smelling Pete.



   A stranger once came to town,
   Who went by the name of Pete,
   Nothing out of the ordinary,
   Two arms, two legs, two feet,
   But as he sauntered through the town,
   It was greatly proposed,
   That Pete's flatulance,
   Was quite pleasing to the nose.

   Rumours quickly spread,
   Of Pete's pine fresh whiff,
   People came from miles around,
   Just to get a sniff,
   Pete's popularity,
   Overnight just rose,
   Because they say his farts,
   Were quite appealing to the nose.

   So Pete went into business,
   Bottling his wonderful hum,
   He had no real overheads,
   'cos his factory was his bum,
   Consequently his bank balance,
   Began to heave and swell,
   As people flocked to buy,
   "Pete's Peculiar Smell!".

   But disaster struck one morning,
   Pete's farts just wouldn't come,
   Pete heaved and huffed,
   And strained and puffed,
   Yet his butt refused to hum,
   His customers went elsewhere,
   Pete closed his business in defeat,
   And that was the last we saw,
   Of Sweet Smelling Pete.

   Now you city folk may think that we're all insane,
   To sing this lengthy ballad of one man's methane,
   But Pete left behind,
   A legacy so strong,
   For his farts did possess,
   A most endearing pong.

Grot, Grub 'n' Grime - poetry for the undiscerning.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

1 posted 2001-09-23 03:04 AM

And as Chaucer said, 'anon flee a ferte!' (The Miller's Tale, from The Canterbury Tales).
This ballad was so hilarious! After all the sad poems and even the great love songs and poems I've read lately... suddenly I come across this one. And I'm still laughing after the second read. Merci beaucoup!

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

2 posted 2001-09-23 03:26 AM

Ditto! Just what we needed was a bit of humor - or "relief", great job on this, and I too am still laughing, and I think we forgot how to laugh lately, so thank you for this one, it was great!

~* If you want a rainbow, sometimes you just have to put up with a little rain *~

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