navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #15 » in my silent treachery
Open Poetry #15
Post A Reply Post New Topic in my silent treachery Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2001-09-08 09:08 AM


In my silent treachery
in the echoed waves of thought
I have seen all I can see
and more than any-- anybody ought.

Wrapped in cellophane of time
(stuffed with fluff of plasticene)
I have diced the words of rhyme---
I have seen all I can see...

Take the rhythm from my breath.
Remove the yoke across my chest.
Start the sway of metronome--
mysterious, tick-tock calls home.
Every second clicks in time.
Every third word calls you mine.

I have seen all I can see.
I have seen the worst in me.
I have murdered. I have lied.
I have deafened ears to cries.
From my dreams may Gods save me.
I have seen all I can see.

In my silent treachery
I've mistaken tears for sweat.
All the things I've yet to see
is rivulet of mad regret...


[This message has been edited by serenity (edited 09-08-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2001-09-08 09:24 AM


Take the rhythm from my breath.
Remove the yoke across my chest.
Start the sway of metronome--
mysterious, tick-tock calls home.
Every second clicks in time.
Every third word calls you mine.
============================
In my silent treachery
I've mistaken tears for sweat.
All the things I've yet to see
is rivulet of mad regret...
===================================

I'm running out of clever things to say about your poetry ...
perhaps because the poetry is so damn clever..
I could eat your rhymes with a spoon..
(not clever, but sincere)  
hearthugs on this one me twin
me

Well I looked to the sky for my anthem
The words and the music came through
But words and music can never touch
The beauty that I've seen in you

Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
2 posted 2001-09-09 12:40 PM


Captivating work Serenity.........by the way, thanks for using the title of my piece for your homepage....I feel very honored....thank you very much......peace!!  

Nathan

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
3 posted 2001-09-09 03:01 PM


very introspective. . . and well thought. . .

great job. . .  

-------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Alan
Senior Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 1499
right next door
4 posted 2001-09-09 05:42 PM


I found this to be one of those pieces that you could not stop reading until you ran out of rhymes. Great job
alan

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #15 » in my silent treachery

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary