sacred words inside - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

0 posted 2001-09-06 01:04 AM

Here I am again...
before you on my knees in bend
I raise my palms unto the sky
and whisper sacred words inside.
Answer me, your lowly slave--
I am desperate--I'm not brave.
But please don't turn your back on me--
the only ears to hear my plea.
Take my pride for it's no cloak.
Take the words on which I choke.
Remove the salt within my tears
pour it on the ice of fears...

Can't you remember how it was?
In the flesh, material...
"Mercy" in my scream surreal,
upon my knees in finalty
a flag of white between my teeth
a clasp of hands in prayer's relief
should my rage become my cage
I beg of you
that you not fade
and from your presence be denied...
for every day, each day I die.

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

1 posted 2001-09-06 01:23 AM

I don't know what to say. This is an incredible write. Took reading it several times, then it hit me, hard.

Tracey
Member Elite

since 2001-08-29

Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding

2 posted 2001-09-06 07:03 AM

This is very powerful. Very, very well written. I hear those screams. Incredibly well done

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

3 posted 2001-09-06 08:48 AM

This is lovely, K...

I like this line best
"Remove the salt within my tears
pour it on the ice of fears...

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

4 posted 2001-09-06 08:52 AM

ya know, I think I'll just keep this one......

Charisma

Member Ascendant

since 2000-09-30

Posts 5906
lost in blue pages

5 posted 2001-09-06 09:06 AM

incredible write indeed!
excellent work.

Charisma

bslicker

Member Elite

since 2000-12-04

Posts 2321
state of mind

6 posted 2001-09-06 01:36 PM

This was great, and now in the library

A smile a day keeps the world in smile's.
Bernie Slicker

CocoBaci
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 3043

7 posted 2001-09-06 01:53 PM

Terrific writing here Serenity Sweetie...

hugs2UalwaysPoetFriend
*~coco~*

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

8 posted 2001-09-06 04:32 PM

I wanted to say thanks to all and once again, I appreciate your patience with me as I change Internet services once again...Ya'll know me, gotta try everything...sigh

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

9 posted 2001-09-06 06:43 PM

Take my pride for it's no cloak.
Take the words on which I choke.
Remove the salt within my tears
pour it on the ice of fears...

Can't you remember how it was?
In the flesh, material...
"Mercy" in my scream surreal,
upon my knees in finalty
a flag of white between my teeth
a clasp of hands in prayer's relief
should my rage become my cage
I beg of you
that you not fade
and from your presence be denied...
for every day, each day I die.
============================

ahhh me queen of rhyme divine...me twin of mirrors...me poetess of metaphor and imagery...me girliegirl of emote and evoke.
Im *shaking me head* at you again...

hearthugs on this one baby..

snowpants
Member Elite

since 2000-09-16

Posts 2061
KS

10 posted 2001-09-06 07:58 PM

I'm not sure if I've said this before, but you've got such a style with words that just amazes me...the way you express emotions is brilliant...this being no exception...fantastic and powerful write, serenity!

sp

tried to write a letter
to tell you how I feel,
but all I kept on writing
was slipping on the tears from the day...

The Rusty Knight
Member

since 2001-08-29

Posts 414
Texas

11 posted 2001-09-06 08:00 PM

I like the feel and rhythem of this, but unlike Duncan it has not hit me yet...but I'm slow...I'll catch the train, but maybe not till the second stop.

Death comes not when we cease to breathe, but when we cease to dream.

SmittenKitten
Senior Member

since 2001-06-20

Posts 1131
where the sky and horizon meet

12 posted 2001-09-06 09:39 PM

Sacred words indeed...as all your words are. Fabulous flow, full of your rhyming ease!

Hugs,
~Krista

"Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you.
And all you can do is to go where they can find you."
~Winnie the Pooh

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

13 posted 2001-09-07 08:32 AM

powerful... and so very well done. I am impressed. I am also touched... could feel this one... had a couple of thoughts on replies...and decided best to simply say I enjoyed

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.