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Open Poetry #15
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Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley

0 posted 2001-09-05 09:30 PM





The early morning sea mist
swirls around your face and
the glow of dawning confirms
I will remain in this place

You belong to the forest,
I belong near the sea
and though our hearts cry out
our love just cannot be

Tomorrow is the day you leave
our time together must end
and though you have my heart
I'll only call you friend

If I could change the outcome
and make our futures unite
I would take your hand now
to walk into the night

But dawn is a jealous mistress
she takes back the words we vowed
in dark of night, our pledge of love
are gone upon morning cloud


© Copyright 2001 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
1 posted 2001-09-05 09:40 PM


PoetdeVine~

'But dawn is a jealous mistress
she takes back the words we vowed'


What a marvelous poetic phrase~
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                                   noles1@totcon.com            

Poet deVine
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Hurricane Alley
2 posted 2001-09-05 09:45 PM


Thank you Marge, I am desperately trying to find my missing muse.....it's been almost 3 months since I wrote something new...
2dalimit
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since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228
Mississippi coast
3 posted 2001-09-05 09:59 PM


...and though you have my heart
I'll only call you friend...


Although you two have come to an end
I'm glad you two can remain friends



Nan
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Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
4 posted 2001-09-05 10:07 PM


If compromise can't be met - friends forever remains... Very wise words, PdV..
Zinsser
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since 2001-02-27
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Calif.
5 posted 2001-09-05 10:21 PM


Sad.. yet so very beautiful..
  ~Connie~

Nightshade
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since 2001-08-31
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just out of reach
6 posted 2001-09-05 10:35 PM


"but dawn is a jealous mistress"....how true. I really enjoyed this read.

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

Tracey
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since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
7 posted 2001-09-05 10:44 PM


Oh, this is so sad. I want a happy ending to this. Let us know if somehow there is one. Lovely poem. Sad, but lovely

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

Jamie
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since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
8 posted 2001-09-05 10:57 PM


If you can write like this with a missing muse.........................
this one touched me dear lady

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

The Rusty Knight
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since 2001-08-29
Posts 414
Texas
9 posted 2001-09-06 02:05 AM


and though you have my heart
I'll only call you friend

This speaks to me as the soul of the poem.  Soft spoken, but it has a lot of power.  This is the kind of line that would get into my head and I would have to write something around it to get it out.


Death comes not when we cease to breathe, but when we cease to dream.

[This message has been edited by The Rusty Knight (edited 09-06-2001).]

Duncan
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since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

10 posted 2001-09-06 02:46 AM


I once tried to melt the forest into the sea.  Somethings are best left as they began.  Wise when we can see that early on, though, still not easy to say goodbye to love.

JamesMichael
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Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
11 posted 2001-09-06 05:44 AM


Very nice Poet deVine...James
Kit McCallum
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Ontario, Canada
12 posted 2001-09-06 06:20 AM


Beautiful sentiments Sharon! You've captured a mood of both passion and friendship through this lovely phrasing, very much enjoyed your message in this piece my friend.  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Trew
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since 2000-06-10
Posts 365
Ottawa, Canada
13 posted 2001-09-06 01:55 PM


It was as though you were just watching over my life as it unfolded these past two weeks.

I have just returned to the forest, and she to the sea.

Thank you for these words.  They couldn't have come at a better time.  Since my pen seems somewhat dry lately, you have achieved what I only desired.

Beautiful poem... and thanks again.

Trev.

Charisma
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lost in blue pages
14 posted 2001-09-06 02:01 PM


~But dawn is a jealous mistress
she takes back the words we vowed
in dark of night, our pledge of love
are gone upon morning cloud~

Me too love that line....but dawn is a jealous mistress~

Excellent as always!

Charisma

LngJhnAg
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since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
15 posted 2001-09-06 03:18 PM


*perk*  Ms DeVine - Yamean, if we meet and I tell you some real good lines and then things heat up and I tell you some more good lines and then things REALLY heat up, and then, later, I tell you I live in the forest, I can get away with it?  MAN!!!!  Why didn't you tell me this a LONG time ago?  heh
Lady In White
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USA
16 posted 2001-09-06 03:25 PM



"Friend" can encompass so much, and better to have many wonderful friends, than one woe-begotten lover or worse yet, the lack of either...

Well done PdV...

Sven
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East Lansing, MI USA
17 posted 2001-09-06 09:35 PM


I think that you're beginning to find her. . . just keep going. . . little by little. . . bit by bit. . . you'll get there. . .

this is a great start. . .  

---------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Alan
Senior Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 1499
right next door
18 posted 2001-09-06 10:53 PM


This is so sad. But at least the too of you still remain friends. The last stanza hit home for me...Great job
alan

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

19 posted 2001-09-07 08:31 AM


Very sad and very touching Sharon....

But dawn is a jealous mistress
she takes back the words we vowed


It's great to read you again Dear  

Maree

anonymous albert ?
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20 posted 2001-09-08 08:41 PM


PdV..such a sad piece...but expressed in poetic beauty...i liked it.

if i die before i wake...i pray the Lord my soul to take - when thugs cry-

Masked Intruder
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Near golden sunsets
21 posted 2001-09-09 02:19 AM


The mists of avalon conquer another.

If you find your muse, send her/him my way...I've lost mine and need a replacement! *wink*

You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep. -- Navajo Proverb

shadow974
Senior Member
since 2001-06-21
Posts 636
Michigan
22 posted 2001-09-09 02:42 AM


Beautifully written and sad. It happens to most of us at least once. It's just great if you can remain friends, Enjoyed.

Throw your heart out in front of you
And run out to catch it.
ARAB PROVERB

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