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Open Poetry #15
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The Rusty Knight
Member
since 2001-08-29
Posts 414
Texas

0 posted 2001-09-03 08:49 PM


I can’t see me without you.

I can see the raindrops slowly dripping from the leaves
And I can see the grey clouds as they move across the sky.
But I can’t see me without you.

I can see the flowers as they gently move in the breeze
And I can see a band of gold that circles my finger.
But I can’t see me without you.

I can see giant oaks covered with moss
And I can see a baby held gently in its mother’s arms.
But I can’t see me without you.

I can see a hundred people with tears in their eyes
And I can see your name on a cold white stone.
But I can’t see me without you.

RdanJ 9-2001


Death comes not when we cease to breath, but when we cease to dream.

© Copyright 2001 RdanJ2001 - All Rights Reserved
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
1 posted 2001-09-03 09:05 PM


You reminded me of how hard it was too let go of someone...because I couldn't see myself without them...now I can...James
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
2 posted 2001-09-03 09:10 PM


Ah Rusty Knight...This is very very touching.  The imagery is fantastic on this one as well.  I really love this write.
We're a crowd of hopeless romantics out here!  

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain~

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
3 posted 2001-09-03 09:11 PM


Oh I know just what you mean..I hope this is not a true sad ending..
Sandra

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
4 posted 2001-09-03 09:14 PM


Rusty Knight
You show such passion in your writing and I'll look forward to reading more of your wonderful work.  You paint very romantic pictures from your palette of fine words.
Take care.....Sue

Suetang

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2001-09-03 09:22 PM


Dan~
Pulling the heartstrings here~
Nicely done~
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                                   noles1@totcon.com            

Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
6 posted 2001-09-03 09:50 PM


Rusty Knight - It's hard to read with tears in my eyes. How beautiful. Thankyou.

Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away.

Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
7 posted 2001-09-03 10:19 PM


This is so, so touching. Tears in my eyes too. Beautifully written

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

The Rusty Knight
Member
since 2001-08-29
Posts 414
Texas
8 posted 2001-09-04 09:36 AM


Thank you all for your comments.  No this was not from personal experience, but through the eyes of a friend.  Like a lot of poems a line (I can't see me without you) was stuck in my head and I had to write something around it.  This is the darkest thing I have written.  Thanks again this is a wonderful place to share our poems with friends.

Death comes not when we cease to breath, but when we cease to dream.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
9 posted 2001-09-04 11:44 AM



I know very well what it is like to have one line run around your head until captured, and pinned by pen....

well done!

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
10 posted 2001-09-04 04:24 PM


Very poignant write. I really hadn't expected the white stone...I was just expecting an ended relationship due to change of heart...this is a hard hard part. Well-written, Rusty Knight, extremely.
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
11 posted 2001-09-06 08:27 AM


I like this - Your theme is great - your presentation is wonderful.. and your message rings loud & clear..
Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

12 posted 2001-09-06 08:40 AM


Yes, sad but true...i enjoyed your lovely words ..nothing rusty about this poem ha..

                 ~Victoria~

Every child is an artist. The challenge is to remain an artist once he grows up.

                                            Pablo Picasso


Charisma
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
13 posted 2001-09-06 09:52 AM


heartfelt penned....

Charisma

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
14 posted 2001-09-06 10:08 AM


Rusty,
I'd like to see her answer. Enjoyed

MyEnchanted_Melody
Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106
across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be.
15 posted 2001-09-06 11:02 AM




Such a lovely romantic piece.....

I really enjoyed it sooooo much. You have said it so well....and managed to pen down that line beautifully.

Thank you
*********************

"Oh...me!Oh Life!
Of the questions of these recurring..........
Of myself forever reproaching myself,
for who more foolish than I......"
~Whitman~

RosePetal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-08-26
Posts 2985
South Florida
16 posted 2001-09-06 05:59 PM


Wow, this is a good piece. Nice Imagery!!

<3 RosePetal

Zinsser
Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641
Calif.
17 posted 2001-09-06 06:15 PM


What everyone else said and more...
I didn't expect the White Stone either...
Beautiful!
~Connie~

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