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Open Poetry #15
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1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

0 posted 2001-09-03 07:05 AM



    Stripped

I took off
the sheets
to remove
the last part
of you
held my breath
in false hope
stripped
of comfort
usually drawn to

you can
deny things
all you want
truth catches up  
after awhile
and there is
the end
slumped
on the floor
in a pile

"...the rest is silence" (Hamlet)  Shakespeare

© Copyright 2001 Helen Chambers - All Rights Reserved
Alan
Senior Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 1499
right next door
1 posted 2001-09-03 07:23 AM


Good read. Hope everything works out for you
alan

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
2 posted 2001-09-03 08:11 AM


1slick_lady - feelings and thoughts expressed very well, powerful words that I read.

BC

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
3 posted 2001-09-03 09:15 AM


Intense write!  A rebuttal from a pained heart!   I get the picture!
Tracey
Member Elite
since 2001-08-29
Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding
4 posted 2001-09-03 10:42 AM


Ah, laundry and the end of love. 2 of my least favorite things in one poem  

Seriously, very nicely put.

Tracey

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

Zinsser
Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641
Calif.
5 posted 2001-09-03 04:07 PM


So very sad....
    Connie

walker
Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240
Florida
6 posted 2001-09-03 04:55 PM


New start clean sheets, but sad when things end.
mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814

7 posted 2001-09-03 08:23 PM


I like this metaphor of love.  Especially the lines:

you can
deny things
all you want
truth catches up  
after awhile

And you're left with a pile of dirty clothes.  

Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

8 posted 2001-09-03 10:16 PM


Another in a long line of successful writes.
Cheers, Lady.

rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
9 posted 2001-09-05 08:07 PM


Very well said! Very final and Sharp ending! Expressed in crisp inevitability. And so true!

Sincerely,
Regina

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
10 posted 2001-09-05 08:09 PM


indeed. . .

well said helen. . . this is pointed and direct. . . great job. . .

------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

GhostWriter_6
Member
since 2001-09-03
Posts 237
??Amityville??
11 posted 2001-09-05 09:02 PM


very well written... i am becoming a fan of your work

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