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Decaflame
Senior Member

since 2001-05-11

Posts 1635

0 posted 2001-08-30 04:27 PM

clamping thoughts
tightly restricted
against chaos
while I run rampant
with my needs

denied

told to take time
for self and
yet guilt follows
rapid succession
of breathing
required but

denied

hands pick to
lift burdens born
of others needs
but still to wipe
away greed of
seeds

denied

[This message has been edited by Decaflame (edited 08-30-2001).]

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

1 posted 2001-08-30 04:37 PM

edgy... and angry feel...

nicely done with repeating phrases adding to the finality like hammer blows...

good stuff!!1

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

2 posted 2001-08-31 12:22 PM

clamping thoughts
tightly restricted
against chaos
while I run rampant
with my needs

denied

told to take time
for self and
yet guilt follows
rapid succession
of breathing
required but

denied
====================================
breathe Deca....breath...
your pen just exhaled for you......
ditto Cpats wise reprise
well done poetess of the flame.

"Failure is not in the falling down ...
it is in the not getting back up"

RSWells
Member Elite

since 2001-06-17

Posts 2533

3 posted 2001-08-31 11:22 AM

Tighter than a golf balls guts. Unwind, dive into a deep cool pool, pay for a massage, invest in a punching bag. At the least bury your face in a pillow and scream as loud and as long as you can until you laugh.

rwood
Member Elite

since 2000-02-29

Posts 3793
Tennessee

4 posted 2001-09-01 08:44 AM

Lock yourself in the bathroom. Scream, cry, hide till calgon takes you away. Being unavailabe is hard when you are meeting others needs. Especially loved ones. Great expression of tension. I hope you have a day for yourself this weekend. You deserve it.

Sincerely,
Regina

citizenx
Member

since 2001-07-31

Posts 189
motorcade

5 posted 2001-09-02 05:52 AM

Decaflame, I echo everyone's thoughts here. powerful words and emotions to this one. THanks for sharing.

"the blizzard of the world has crossed the threshold and it has overturned
the order of the soul" leonard cohen

Tracey
Member Elite

since 2001-08-29

Posts 2808
where insanity meets breeding

6 posted 2001-09-02 09:53 AM

I can only echo what has been said by the others. Very powerful piece

Tracey

If she who dies with the most toys wins, then can I have some toy boys please?

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