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Open Poetry #15
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jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298


0 posted 2001-08-28 02:51 PM


A tight insignificant ball
hidden safe and secure
from the frozen exterior.
No vision needed...reality-free.
Existing solely from stores
of hatred, in silence it sleeps,
waiting to awaken.


© Copyright 2001 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved
Lady In White
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799
USA
1 posted 2001-08-28 03:30 PM



The slow build of this is very good...and the feeling comes across quite well...

Mother_Earth
Senior Member
since 2000-11-20
Posts 1370
1/2 year Texas & 1/2 year Michigan
2 posted 2001-08-28 03:32 PM


Jellybeans, I hope the hatred stay asleep!  It is a terrible thing to turn loose.  Good luck,  ME
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

3 posted 2001-08-28 04:45 PM


Nicely captured..tension built and contained in the few words chosen and used...

good work!

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
4 posted 2001-08-28 04:50 PM


A lot of suffering held within....dark but very descriptive write!  I could just imagine the scream let loose in this!
RoseThorn
New Member
since 2001-08-28
Posts 5
US - NY
5 posted 2001-08-28 08:20 PM


your writing flows well, paints a very descriptive picture....

rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
6 posted 2001-08-29 07:18 AM


Very descripive verse of a suppressed emotive thing. Depending on how it sifts forward into the outer world, depends on where they put me. In recognition, or the asylum.   Very well done.

Sincerely,
Regina

It's all in the mind
Except for what's in the heart.

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