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Open Poetry #15
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haiku
| Open Poetry #15 |
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haiku |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
trimming horizon with glow birds song greets morning ~~~~~~~~~~ © August 31, 2001 |
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| © Copyright 2001 Virginia Salter - All Rights Reserved | |||
Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
And a pretty morn it is, too...well done Virginia... |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
thanky, Lady  that it is and now the read is spreading to orange behind the sillouete of dangling tree branches*** |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
VAS, You Haiked me into an u. Well done |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
Tinged clouds open up Blooming Gypsie Carousel Merry-Go-Round Winds Did I do it? Cause you did inspire it.  Sincerely, Regina |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Well you have the count perfectly, but I think the purest would say it's a senyru as you've made a metaphor or analogy in making it 'like' a carousel and a merry-go-round. Would you like me to copy it and as someone who seems to be more knowledgeable than I of the parameters? Of course there are persons here, too, that are but they might not see your poem since it's a response to mine and not a separate topic.Love the images, though, and excited I inspired something, period. |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
It's just for you My gypsy carousel is a beautiful deep red rose that blooms with yellow tinges on the underside. It's a hybrid tea rose. You made me think of it. But you are right how it reads. I forget not to reference towards the metaphor of non nature. I love learning here.Sincerely, Regina |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
And I am learning, too, that there is a flower named Gypsy Carousel, so that part was not metaphor, just the merry-go-round winds. Let's see, how can we say 'spinning' winds with four syllables???Hmmmmmmm. gyrating...only 3...time for the thesaurus, excuse me a moment...ah, circulating, why didn't I think of that. Thanks for a poem 'just for me'  |
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
sung brightly in early morn' nature truly shines Since we're all learning here, I've got a question for ya too Virginia! Can you actually refer to nature as I just did in a haiku? I enjoyed your beautiful haiku and the images it stirred up in my mind thanks for the inspiration as well!Hugs and such, ~Krista  "Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
I don't know what to say here, SmittenKitten, to your question, but I enjoyed the piece. I'm wondering if one needs to say what is singing so it is indeed a 'concrete' poem and not abstract or metaphorical. I think since you don't say 'morning' is singing, that then it is not metaphorical. However, I don't feel I can give you a definitive answer on that. I know someone who can, though. If you would like to join an online class, that is FREE, let me know. We are in our first week so it would be easy to catch up. If so, I could alert the instructor to your interest. |
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
My response to your response started to get a little long so I'll email it to you =) Thanks! ~Krista "Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. |
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