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Gwendrina
Junior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 33

0 posted 2001-08-23 12:46 PM

He pulls the composition
out of his pocket,

flattens the paper
creased from a long stay in denim,
and hands me the assignment.

He smiles,
“I wrote it on location,
you should’ve been there”.

Soon, he’s out the door
and I watch him walk
into  air fizzling

gold light
between the shade leaves.

For a split-second
his figure connects
to the black spikes
of the school yard fence.

I think
bayonets, youngest shooter
in camp.

Time and again
he relives this theme:
muskets, minutemen
and  town’s re-enactment
of one colonial skirmish

or another.
I begin reading his work
overlooking the  margin’s
epaulette fringe

and ink slurred
from a water spill.

His homework
is in deplorable condition
but the words, brilliant.

Details scratch
the reader’s interest
and I can feel

a leafless twig
etch  rhythms of fear
on the tent canvas

while the cold scent of dusk
spills from the moon’ s horn
of ivory sketched in blue scrimshaw.

He writes  this piece
in the voice of a young soldier
frightened, scribbling  life
on a shirt rag;
his experience no more
than a rough draft of trial and error -

but this student’s skill
is refined.

He presents his work
with an authentic look;

and I wonder
If I should mock his intent
or praise  a sequence ripped
from Josiah Quinn’s life

dated  1778- with
An autumn night
slowly loading its hours
into dawn.

.

.

[This message has been edited by Gwendrina (edited 08-23-2001).]

Decaflame
Senior Member

since 2001-05-11

Posts 1635

1 posted 2001-08-23 12:50 PM

Excellent!

cpalmer
Senior Member

since 2001-06-26

Posts 977
Phoenix, Az

2 posted 2001-08-23 01:04 PM

Gwendrina!
This is fabulous!
Cindi

GracefullyPoetic
Junior Member

since 2001-08-23

Posts 14
AZ, USA

3 posted 2001-08-23 01:05 PM

I thought this poem was 5 stars fabulous!!!

--Heather

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

4 posted 2001-08-23 01:21 PM

( smiling) Very well done.... and certainly told with a story tellers ear for the audience... look forward to reading more of your posts!

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

5 posted 2001-08-23 01:36 PM

this is indeed excellent...
superb story telling with imagery and analogy
your clever writing makes the same impression on the reader as his writing did on you...
very well done.
jm

Feels like Im dancin with truth and wisdom
Precious rhythm you are my guide
These days are sacred, my heart is humble
Oh warrior show me thy light

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

6 posted 2001-08-23 10:11 PM

wonderfully done. . . you have woven an excellent story with poetic grace. . .

excellent. . .

------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

jellybeans
Member Elite

since 2000-10-13

Posts 2298

7 posted 2001-08-24 09:45 AM

I recognize your work

and it is fabulous...you are so talented

loved this

illusion
Member

since 2001-06-19

Posts 296

8 posted 2001-08-24 11:19 AM

I like this very much. It captivates the reader.

Gwendrina
Junior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 33

9 posted 2001-08-24 07:47 PM

Hi Everyone,

A very large thank you to all who read this poem. I truly appreciate your kind words and personal insight. It means alot!!!!!!!!!

Wendy

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