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Open Poetry #15
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Hardkore
Junior Member
since 2001-01-31
Posts 33
San DIego, California

0 posted 2001-08-23 05:05 AM


I Know this isn't exactly a poem but it's short, and I thought someone might like it, feedback appreciated...thanks

I can't sleep anymore, I'm scared I'll see her in my dreams again.
How could such a beautiful face be so haunting.
There was a time when that very face sent waves of euphoria through my body.
It's mere sight made the air I breathed fresher, and the sun in which i bathed brighter.
Her bright blue eyes and saphier lips even made my meager life seem fulfilling.  
Alas these enhancements are a fleeting memory in the back of my mind, for faces of a ghost hold no enchantment.
Now that angelic face entices only fear and regret to swirl through my mind, only to be replaced with sorrow and shame.
The day we meet are fates were intwined, another reason I felt guilty of the crime.
When I saw that beautiful face I knew I would never escape.
The crime I comited was one of love.
For I loved her deeply, and to her a heart to take was mine.  
How could I know that it was my love that would kill her.
She had left behind an ex-fiance that was bitter.
When I was at work, he thought he'd get even, decided to hit her.
But he went to far, and decided if he could not have her, he would be better off dead.
Tragicaly he didn't want to go without her.
So now you know the crime of which I am guilty.
The reason I can not sleep, and fear the sight of her haunting face.  
My love had killed her, but this vicious love was not done, it had taken another victim.
This cruel virus suffocated my spirit, and set my heart on fire... left me alone and tired.

Passion fuels my love
Passion becomes consumed by my love
Without my love I become passionless


© Copyright 2001 Garrett Megaw - All Rights Reserved
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2001-08-23 11:00 AM


you didn't hurt her, you loved her. How could you have known??? This is touching, beyond words. You shouldn't punish yourself for loving her. Hugs to you  
1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
2 posted 2001-08-23 04:11 PM


so sorry for your ache...but i am happy to se you back here writing...helen
Hardkore
Junior Member
since 2001-01-31
Posts 33
San DIego, California
3 posted 2001-08-23 04:18 PM


Just wanted to let you know this bever happened to me, i character write.

Passion fuels my love
Passion becomes consumed by my love
Without my love I become passionless


rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
4 posted 2001-08-25 11:04 AM


A very real character write. It happens a lot. And to put yourself in the persons mind that was left to life, is tough, but you penned it so well that I does seem to be you.
A very tragic reality in love's twisted obsession. Well done!

Sincerely,
Regina

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
5 posted 2001-08-25 11:35 AM


Powerful, tragic, intriguing, and ripe with potential for more words to add to the story, for there are many directions it could take...  Definitely haunting and chilling.

-MVS

"It's all in the details -- the Big Picture always takes care of itself."
-MVS


Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
6 posted 2001-08-26 11:54 AM


well done. . . an excellent prose poem. . . you took us into the mind of the character and shared with us his fear and his pain. . .

great job. . .

-------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

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