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Open Poetry #15
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Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2001-08-31 08:35 AM


She stood swaying
Arms folded under breast
Trying to hold in the heart
That wanted to fall to the floor
Breaking into shards of misery.

Bent by the winds of life’s storms
With roots planted in a rich lifetime
Of toil and experience, she held firmly
To the bedrock of faith and family

Losing another child to death’s arms
All these many years after the first
Unleashed grey black clouds of grief
Roiling through her soul

She stood swaying
Arms folded under her breast
Raining tears onto cheeks that
Had tenderly hugged all her children
As thundering pain echoed
Through memories canyons

Another storm…
In a tempestuous life
To be weathered and
To survive…


© Copyright 2001 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2001-08-31 08:49 AM



All of the women here at Passions will in some way relate to this, I promise...

Well done Sir!

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
2 posted 2001-08-31 08:50 AM


I like this,
a good word painting
showing the soul of the character.

Gloom

Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2001-08-31 09:48 AM


'She stood swaying
Arms folded under breast
Trying to hold in the heart
That wanted to fall to the floor
Breaking into shards of misery.'


My heart is in my throat with picturesque recall
of my mother when we lost my brother~
'As thundering pain echoed
Through memories canyons'

She existed until God took her home to be with him again~


VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
4 posted 2001-08-31 10:42 AM


Perfect!
May I copy and share, it may prove a catalyst to some.

2dalimit
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since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228
Mississippi coast
5 posted 2001-08-31 10:58 AM


You have penned a great one. Such emotion.

Melton

RMW
Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424

6 posted 2001-08-31 11:40 AM


Capt. Hair....your touch endears, as always. Beautifully said. Bob
RSWells
Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533

7 posted 2001-08-31 11:43 AM


Not supposed to be that way, the young preceeding us in death. Worst case scenario for any parent and pain which is as constant as the next breath. Takes a particularly strong individual to stand up to it and not pray for their own end. Powerful stuff.
SmittenKitten
Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131
where the sky and horizon meet
8 posted 2001-08-31 11:49 AM


What a sad write Ron....but so beautifully penned.  You have captured the emotions well.

Take care,
~Krista  


"Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you.
And all you can do is to go where they can find you."
~Winnie the Pooh


[This message has been edited by SmittenKitten (edited 08-31-2001).]

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
9 posted 2001-08-31 12:01 PM


Amazing, Ron.

-MVS

"It's all in the details -- the Big Picture always takes care of itself."
-MVS


Auguste
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since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953
By the sea
10 posted 2001-08-31 12:25 PM


Excellent writing...impressive!

Michael

Michael Auguste~
There is more depth to the heart than the mind can comprehend and it only has boundaries when we choose to fence it in.  

citizenx
Member
since 2001-07-31
Posts 189
motorcade
11 posted 2001-08-31 01:43 PM


She stood swaying
Arms folded under her breast
Raining tears onto cheeks that
Had tenderly hugged all her children
As thundering pain echoed
Through memories canyons

Another storm…
In a tempestuous life
To be weathered and
To survive…

==========
so achingly beautiful.

"the blizzard of the world has crossed the threshold and it has overturned
the order of the soul" leonard cohen

Zinsser
Senior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 1641
Calif.
12 posted 2001-08-31 04:06 PM


tears are spilling here..
can't even handle the thought
Your words painted well the pain.....

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
13 posted 2001-08-31 05:22 PM


I remember this one well...  good to read it again...

excellent!

~Tier

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
14 posted 2001-08-31 08:23 PM


Capt--What a vivid picture of grief.  It is so real that I can see the tears.
Logan
Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641
Arkansas
15 posted 2001-08-31 10:39 PM


Cpat, fantastic, ahh even more so...gentle smile
Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
16 posted 2001-08-31 11:08 PM


This is such and emotional read...wonderfully written...you really touched me thank you
Mysteria
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since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
17 posted 2001-09-01 01:09 AM


I felt this then, and I feel it again now.  I want to tell you how well done this is but how can I tell you the kind of pain of which you speak is a good thing?  I will say, you captured it all too well.

~*If you can't say anything nice about someone, don't say anything at all*~
My Gramma, Mom and now now me

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
18 posted 2001-09-01 06:32 AM


God Ron!....... heaven forbid the feelings that accompany being predeceased by an offspring. I can't even imagine it! That's not the way life is supposed to go!
This is very well done and I appreciate the work!

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
19 posted 2001-09-03 09:49 AM


This is a masterly penned write, my friend, Ron. Touching!

I am so glad that I was guided towards this one...

Regards,
Sudhir

Interloper
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
20 posted 2001-09-05 05:32 PM


BRAVO, Ron!  1derful my friend
rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
21 posted 2001-09-05 09:08 PM


Dear C, Once again you have penned with heartquill. Poignant and rendered with care.
Thank you for sharing this with us.


Sincerely,
Regina

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

22 posted 2001-09-06 01:30 AM


This reminded me of my grandmother.  She lived to suffer the death of several of her sons and even a grandchild.  It seems the most unnatural of tragedies.  
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