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Open Poetry #15
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kaile
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore

0 posted 2001-08-22 07:34 AM


someone
pointlessly surfs
recklessly clicks
hesitantly types
swiftly deletes
mechanically functions~
a wan smile now and then
a weary look at his watch here and there

it takes him two hours
to mount the courage
to write some nonsensical verse
on the whim that he might make himself feel better

but the words are forming,
the poet can't care less,
his skin is peeling off,
his inner core is revealing

and someone, a coward, is running

[This message has been edited by faterider (edited 08-22-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 heng kaile - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2001-08-22 07:53 AM


Faterider,
Serious stuff and interesting, enjoyed.

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2001-08-22 09:02 AM


very interesting the way theimages created capture the tone..delivery the last lines with strength...

nicely written...


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2001-08-22 06:08 PM


Smiling...you write the process so well. And I still can't stand to watch someone's face as they read my work...thank gawd for the internet...now I just post, duck, and run!!!

But you've no need for fear here with this one. Marvelous!!!

Interloper
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
4 posted 2001-08-22 06:12 PM


Amen.  Well done indeed!
                    

Homepage :  http://members.home.net/excalibur2501/interloper.htm

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2001-08-22 06:39 PM


to write some nonsensical verse
on the whim that he might make himself feel better

but the words are forming,
the poet can't care less,
his skin is peeling off,
his inner core is revealing

and someone, a coward, is running
===============================

well this makes perfect sense to me....
a vivid and powerfully honest write here
and you have indeed captured the process for many...
and this proves...your not a coward...youre a poet  
well done K, good to see you posting again.
take care
jm

Feels like Im dancin with truth and wisdom
Precious rhythm you are my guide
These days are sacred, my heart is humble
Oh warrior show me thy light

walker
Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240
Florida
6 posted 2001-08-22 06:48 PM


Like this one!
Topheth
Member
since 2001-09-08
Posts 297
Texas
7 posted 2001-09-10 01:35 PM


Very nice and well put - I fell into this within the first few lines.
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