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Open Poetry #15
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2001-08-22 04:55 AM


Lesser morns than this I've seen
beyond the teal of sun meets blue
I walked the streets--exhaled your eyes--
the last of warmth I felt for you.

I was the one you saw downcast
walking in the shadows past
determined I might beat the sun
and creep to crypt before undone
by the stare of fiery greet
before the pavement burnt my feet
I was the shadow dancing pattern--
as if my presence ever mattered.
Darting every ray's duress
as if light were a stone, but pressed
another burden on my chest
another rock in my caress...
Another being in the stone
that begs for chisel to be honed.

(Sometimes I wish to be alone,
and then, I find? I am...)

I need to find a curl of root.
A pillow be fine ferns of shoot.
And please? A breeze
wash over me,
a blanket of war's sweet surcease...
A gentle hand crafted of wind,
the peace of knowing life as friend.
I wish that we could dance and clap
amid the sparks avoiding traps
I wish, I wish, I wish too much...
and wishing is not quite enough.

© Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
1 posted 2001-08-22 06:18 AM


just remember...shadows never dance alone...

hugss
~Wynter

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2001-08-22 07:11 AM


Lesser morns than this I've seen
beyond the teal of sun meets blue
I walked the streets--exhaled your eyes--
the last of warmth I felt for you.

I was the one you saw downcast
walking in the shadows past
determined I might beat the sun
and creep to crypt before undone
by the stare of fiery greet
before the pavement burnt my feet
I was the shadow dancing pattern--
as if my presence ever mattered.
Darting every ray's duress
as if light were a stone, but pressed
another burden on my chest
another rock in my caress...
Another being in the stone
that begs for chisel to be honed.
===================================
A gentle hand crafted of wind,
the peace of knowing life as friend.
I wish that we could dance and clap
amid the sparks avoiding traps
I wish, I wish, I wish too much...
and wishing is not quite enough.
=====================================

you never cease to amaze me the way you work the metaphors, the poetic phrases, wrapping them up with imagery and rhyme divine,
and topping them of with bows of achingly beautiful emotions.
this is classic sen poetry.
me

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

3 posted 2001-08-22 08:41 AM


very nice as usual... good metaphorical employment and images are clear... message woven throughout.... you girl... are good.


SmittenKitten
Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131
where the sky and horizon meet
4 posted 2001-08-22 09:35 AM


mmm....you wrap me in a blanket with your beautiful words and imagery Serenity.  I love it, as usual  
Hugs,
~Krista  

"Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you.
And all you can do is to go where they can find you."
~Winnie the Pooh

Lady In White
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799
USA
5 posted 2001-08-22 09:43 AM



When I grow up...yes, when I grow up, I want to write like this....

yes, if and when I grow up...

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
6 posted 2001-08-22 12:21 PM


enjoy
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