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Open Poetry #15
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rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee

0 posted 2001-08-20 06:31 PM



Growing

Knowing that it's been
Better said and done but still
Striving to render.


My first attempt. So I hope this qualifies as a Haiku. Please inform me if I'm not allowed to punctuate in the way I did. I hope I didn't cheat  

[This message has been edited by rwood (edited 08-20-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Regina Wood - All Rights Reserved
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
1 posted 2001-08-20 06:38 PM


I don't know about that punctuation rules to be honest but I do know that the 5-7-5 is done well.  I believe it is more a Senyru than a Haiku but you might want to check it out.  The difference being Haikus are about nature and Senyrus are about feelings and anything else other than nature.  Either way it is a wonderful write especially for your first attempt but be careful, they can be addicting.
Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
2 posted 2001-08-20 06:47 PM


Hi there, it's a senryu and a lovely one too.

I think however it would look better without the punctuation.

Knowing that it's been
Better said and done but still
Striving to render


Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Feel free to use the pictures on my website. http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace/

rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
3 posted 2001-08-20 06:48 PM


Thanks Mark! I get it. Silly me, I just thought the poets of Haiku just really liked the nature theme. LOL. So this is a Senryu. I will change the title then. I'm still trying to render!   Much appreciation Sir.

And you too Titia. It does look better. I'm a punctuating fettish person. I appreciate the input and made the changes. Thanks so much for your help.

Sincerely,
Regina

[This message has been edited by rwood (edited 08-20-2001).]

Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
4 posted 2001-08-20 06:52 PM


addictive and fun
the Senryu and Haiku
they can say so much
~*~

Well done on your first try!  Let's see some more (they are my favorite)

http://members.home.net/excalibur2501/interloper.htm

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