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Open Poetry #15
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Walking Back
| Open Poetry #15 |
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Walking Back |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Dust puffs… Each step falling Brings rise to The small cloud That slowly settles On brown legs Turning them A lighter shade Of dun And one foot After the other Traverses this Two rut cut track Between brambles And tree Silver shimmered Heat waves In illusions of Dancing air Almost showing The things which Really are not there As sweat trickles From brow To sting eyes Unaccustomed To the glare Mind turns Unlike the path And thoughts of you Add clouds to this Cloudless day But no relief From the burning Dusty memories Are found in their shadows |
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| © Copyright 2001 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Cpat Hair, Enjoyed the read. |
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Decaflame Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635 |
Many, many are the reasons that I like this one...many, indeed... |
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RMW Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424 |
Capt. I love those dust puffs. Always have. A nice day for walking. Thanks for sharing. Bob |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Silver shimmered Heat waves In illusions of Dancing air Almost showing The things which Really are not there As sweat trickles From brow To sting eyes Unaccustomed To the glare Mind turns Unlike the path And thoughts of you Add clouds to this Cloudless day But no relief From the burning Dusty memories Are found in their shadows ======================== excellent and masterful employ of imagery and succinctity to create this scene and mood. the reader needs a drink to wash down the dry and dust...  very cool write about the opposite well done post sir jm Feels like Im dancin with truth and wisdom |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
a lovely, lovely walk, Cpat! |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
Nicely done Pat..enjoyed reading your words. ~Victoria~ |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
Very well written. In trying to kick off the dust, the memories just fade clearer to the surface. Wonderful twist of thinking. Enjoyed. Sincerely, Regina |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Kinda dusty in here. Nice place to be though.. Sandra |
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shadow974 Senior Member
since 2001-06-21
Posts 636Michigan |
I enjoyed this one much, Capt. Throw your heart out in front of you |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I really like the 'haunted' quality of your work. |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
This my friend, not only for the uniqueness in the way it was written, or smoothness of the flow, or the simpleness of the words, but for all the reasons that a work is good, and thoughts are honest and felt and shared, is one of the best pieces of writing I've ever come across. jwesley |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
A master of extended metaphor, you are...Very nicely done.. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Well written and illustrated! Love the metaphorical qualities! Enjoyed! |
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