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Open Poetry #15
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This is not love...
| Open Poetry #15 |
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This is not love... |
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howpeculiar Member
since 2000-12-12
Posts 56 |
This is not love I chant head curled in over my legs as if I could become my own shelter knees wet with selfish tears I rock, swallowing cries until nausea threatens this is only clinging this is the dragging claw of desperation Oh hell, and I don’t know what it is but it feels like love swallowing itself hope rotting as if the section of my heart that is you has been torn from me and lies to the side, infected I am enough I chant, using volume to compensate for conviction There are no memories to send us to the floor weeping with want… As if our time was fictitious and bare: only the idea of love, or lovers, laced along the one foundation that was ‘us’: Struggle, with no pause. What, then, remains? Of myself, nothing that I recognize: some slobbering, useless outline of a girl that resembles me in face and nothing more; that clings to you as if you are all that keeps her breathing yet must force the words out of her teeth force her smiles choke her sobs with trembling, wet hands Your gravity swells in the curve of my stomach, in the one whole well of my heart. I feel it heavy in the rocking, in the soles of my feet; the pull that would lead me to your bed again if stronger forces didn’t exist. But because so much grief has been poured over you in the past, because depression has stolen so many hours from us already, I won’t comply. I fear it would damage to the point of destroy. Finally, I am more afraid of driving you away than I am of myself. There is pain here. And our walls have built a fortress. I can’t even remember what beauty feels like. This is not love. For you, though, I will try. |
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| © Copyright 2001 howpeculiar - All Rights Reserved | |||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
I do believe.... that this is a beautiful write... and that the torutred feelings behind it deserve so much more than any words I can say in response... |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
What better love, than to try.... A wonderful write! Thank you for sharing your gifts... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
howpeculiar: I have been there, and now in my remember where it has brought me some hard truth, your poem brings it back. A very emotive write! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Oh....how can we claim to know love until we love ourselves???? DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE. Beautifully written angst, I could SEE YOU and longed to give you a big hug. I love ya, baby!!!! now c'mere and gimme a kiss! |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
This was an fantastic write, full of emotions. This is a keeper, off to my library it goes with a thank you to you too! ~Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self~ Cyril Connolly |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
Looks like I'm not the only one looking up your poetry tonight. I should say something poetically responsive now...but I am, again speechless. |
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Ava`sEden Junior Member
since 2001-09-15
Posts 17Southern |
To be "IN LOVE" takes two, one in love is lonely.............. |
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