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Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

0 posted 2001-08-14 10:06 AM

I will not sing today
the sun
shines bright
and birds do

But not I

My voice will whisper

not melodies

or harmonies

but soft exhalations
of things not quite

No tremolo to quiver
on ear
or in throat
but quiet words
half spoken
unbroken
yet
fraction thought

I will not sing today
for I
am slowly
breathing out
the memories
of you

Lady In White

Member Elite

since 2001-02-12

Posts 2799
USA

1 posted 2001-08-14 10:07 AM

You inspire....

in growing warm as
ascent is made
I shall seek for thee
some green's
quiet shade
where one might
take in respite, care
and only feel
the warm
of air

cpalmer
Senior Member

since 2001-06-26

Posts 977
Phoenix, Az

2 posted 2001-08-14 12:34 PM

Awe Cpat!
This is just beautiful...enjoyed very much!
Cindi

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

3 posted 2001-08-14 02:39 PM

BRAVO

you do grab heart strings and sing even without a melody on the air, Hair

btw, my Vesuvius poem is supposed to be a metaphor, but it seems to be being taken literally, merely as a recount of the action of eruption...any suggestions?

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

4 posted 2001-08-14 02:41 PM

Oh, I like this LOTS
Sandra

MyEnchanted_Melody
Senior Member

since 2001-05-30

Posts 1106
across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be.

5 posted 2001-08-14 03:25 PM

Wonderful.........I really loved it.

I'd have to quote the whole poem if I were to say where I like it best.....

Thank you
************************

"Oh...me!Oh Life!
Of the questions of these recurring..........
Of myself forever reproaching myself,
for who more foolish than I......"
~Whitman~

rwood
Member Elite

since 2000-02-29

Posts 3793
Tennessee

6 posted 2001-08-15 05:55 AM

Terrific read. Soft and easy on the spirit. Very nice!
Sincerely,
Regina

shadow of the fall
Member

since 2001-08-13

Posts 83
Indiana

7 posted 2001-08-15 06:17 AM

very inspirint verse this morning.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

8 posted 2001-08-15 09:41 AM

hmmm....maybe I'm wrong here but I felt a bit of sadness with this one...of course, I could take utter joy itself and make it sad with the way I see things.

I liked it anyhow.

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

9 posted 2001-08-15 10:42 AM

Cpat--Yes, breathing without feels like half a breath. Smoothly told loneliness.

RSWells
Member Elite

since 2001-06-17

Posts 2533

10 posted 2001-08-15 10:56 AM

Takes a large rush of positive energy to raise ones voice in song. I've been unable to do so for a while. Can indeed relate to the sighs though and the flashed images which won't stay buried. Concise write.

"Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to decieve"

illusion
Member

since 2001-06-19

Posts 296

11 posted 2001-08-15 11:49 AM

but soft exhalations
of things not quite

I will not sing today
for I
am slowly
breathing out
the memories
of you

But can the process be completed before the last breath is exhaled? This poem speaks the sadness I sigh more beautifully than I ever could - it's one I'll be reading again and again.

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