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Open Poetry #15
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the art of irreplace
| Open Poetry #15 |
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the art of irreplace |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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Forget about the almanac. Seasons linger overdue; they did not know the longitude of you... (and all the "you" that I would lack...) I wish I had my spinecord back-- a memory-- all you gave-- I got for nothing-- empty grave. Tell me it was just a lie. Look, and tell me to my eyes. One piece of you-- a memory-- we had each puzzle piece of love-- (forgot to share) and let the air become the dare... keeping love apart. was velveteen-- just hopeless dream to be made real- I wish my doubt would burst my seams each part of you dance spark of me. I wish that You could make me feel-- Velveteen, I wish to be loved...real. on coldest shelf in moon's midnight Even as I yearn for you I think of you-- hot flames of blue... with a lover's splash of teal and all appeals of future's love... revealed. with glue of bitterness, I weep... Everytime I think of you, I think of possiblity... I think of something that's not through and everytime I think of us I wish I'd be the impetus I wish that you would peek at me behind the brick and be set free-- I wish I had your hand in mine... pulse to pulse, we'd set new time. Eye to eye, the cages free, watch the walls, fall. tumbling... just you and me... lips in drip of honesty. Fingers drift across your face the wonderment to touch the art of irreplace... [This message has been edited by serenity (edited 08-14-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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aurora rain Member
since 2000-11-15
Posts 90 |
that's one of the most beautiful things i've read in a loooong time. absolutely wonderful.  |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
God, Serenity this is flowing genius. my favorite line? "You could make me feel-- Velveteen, " " I walked beside the evening sea And dreamed a dream that could not be" George William Curtis" |
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WRBreezin Member
since 2001-08-04
Posts 212 |
This covers the heart in a deliberate passion, slowly taking the reader from beginning to end...Lovely. Willie |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
ok..so I read this..and then am supposed to try and write something myself?? and then supposed to share it here?? Geez lady... you make it hard on us poor schmucks who barely write..how can we have any shred of decency and try to follow this... ( grinning) If you haven't figured out..I am saying this is damned good... very fine work... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Even in the darkest night on coldest shelf in moon's midnight Even as I yearn for you I think of you-- hot flames of blue... with a lover's splash of teal and all appeals of future's love... revealed. Every eyelash sticks to cheek with glue of bitterness, I weep... Everytime I think of you, I think of possiblity... Everytime I think of you I think of something that's not through and everytime I think of us I wish I'd be the impetus I wish that you would peek at me behind the brick and be set free-- I wish I had your hand in mine... pulse to pulse, we'd set new time. Eye to eye, the cages free, watch the walls, fall. tumbling... Upon our knees, just you and me... lips in drip of honesty. Fingers drift across your face the wonderment to touch the art of irreplace... ============================= OH MAN!!!!!!!! OH MY!!!!!!!!! OH me girlie... I have said it before and I'm singing it now "god I love Mardi-gras poets"  Karen? this is.... you are ... Oh Man.... I am...awestruck and stupid... this is amazing...as is the poet  meWe're all feeding our lonely...like it might go away... |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
This is better than looking in a mirror... well done serene one.... |
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SmittenKitten Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131where the sky and horizon meet |
WOW! That's all I can say....I really don't know how to comment on this. Your talent abounds sweet poetess! I'm keeping this Hugs, ~Krista  "Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I'm blushing here, but I do see ALOT wrong with this piece, but I was just trying to "free up my mind"---I felt my writing was getting too constricted--and now I want to go back and fix the meter blah blah etc.--but I think I will let this stand...and thank you good poet people, for being patient with me while I "play" a bit. Yer too kind.  |
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citizenx Member
since 2001-07-31
Posts 189motorcade |
Sometimes seasons overlap. Forget about the almanac. Seasons linger overdue; they did not know the longitude of you... (and all the "you" that I would lack...) you know reading your poetry, it takes one on a journey of twists and turns highs and lows. And personally speaking as I reach the last line, i am left to ponder what the words reveal and what they make me question. And this is a good thing a very good thing. shadows flicker sweet end tame |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
this piece is so good I'm reading it again., how's the tooth " I walked beside the evening sea And dreamed a dream that could not be" George William Curtis" |
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