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Open Poetry #15
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Things Lost To The Sea
| Open Poetry #15 |
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Things Lost To The Sea |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
 ~Things Lost To The Sea~ He was never hers to have His heart was never hers to hold Just two ships passing in the night Looking for safe harbor in waters so cold For both the journey had been lonely These waters run deep and uncharted She was searching for a guiding star To lead her back to where anticipation had long since parted From the first moment her eyes gazed upon him She felt admiration, fascination, temptation Drawn to his dark mystery and intensity She discovered her own elation, inspiration, sweet salvation So she let his still waters wash over her In his depths she willingly drowned Riding his waves of passion Her own unknown desires were finally found She hung on his every word By his touch she came undone He became the moon that pulled her tides He became the rise and fall of her shorelines's sun He was the champagne never before tasted He was the beaches she had not yet strolled upon He was the languages she's never heard spoken He was the afterglow that warmed her till dawn She promised to never chain him For this was never about destiny or things meant to be She only wanted to sustain him Hoping thru her eyes, his own beauty he might then see Perhaps in another place and time They could have hoped for more than just one night Still for a while his light was all she could see In his arms she believed contentment was at last in sight His breath breathed new life into her His kiss took her breath away He became her ache unending Though always knowing he couldn't stay Like those who had sailed before him He is owned by what he'll never possess He is drawn to the sirens seductive song He now longs for her consuming caress No, he was never hers to have Yet she will never regret the love she gave And as she watches him drift farther away She knows she'll take this ache of him to her watery grave For now she stands on the shore patiently waiting While anticipating she sings her madrigal plea For he will always have a hold on her heart Though she knows his heart now belongs to the sea Janet Marie  [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 08-06-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Janet Marie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
"So she let his still waters wash over her in his depths she willingly drowned riding his waves of passion her unknown desires were finally found... He was the champagne never before tasted he was the beaches she has not yet strolled upon he was the languages she's never heard spoken he was the afterglow that warmed her till dawn... For now she stands on the shore patiently waiting while anticipating she sings her madrigal plea for he will always have a hold on her heart though she knows his heart now belongs to the sea" ~ ~ ~ okay I'll stop there before I type out the whole poem  Janet, oh my, this is gorgeously aching. Girl, when your muse writes...it's magic! I know that you're always referring to poetic mirrors, and you've put the mirror up to my face with this poem. Wow ~ this is soooo good, the rhyme, the cadence-kissed imagery and metaphor, the emotions, the passion, the everything: ALL perfect! Not only am I saving this in my library, I'm printing it out. If only you knew how much I relate, this is just beyond words. I'll even go as far as saying this is your best!~ Melissa~ [This message has been edited by Melissa Honeybee (edited 08-06-2001).] |
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Logan Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641Arkansas |
Ahhh, very gentle smile..you, Lady, are so very good..your words flow like that champagne, soft into the glass..ahh, it is so good to see your name there, knowing it is going to be wonderful..again, a very gentle smile |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Janet Marie--You know I am in awe of your ability to write with ink so full of passion. This is wonderful, filled up poetry, sweet lady....and it makes me cry. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"So she let his still waters wash over her In his depths she willingly drowned Riding his waves of passion Her own unknown desires were finally found " "She hung on his every word By his touch she came undone He became the moon that pulled her tides He became the rise and fall of her shorelines's sun" Ahhhhh JM ... I was wondering why on earth I am up at this late hour, and here is the reason. Beautifully descriptive and flowing ... wonderful phrasing, and oh so incredibly moving. A lovely write with much depth and beauty, thank you for getting me back into reading Janet Marie ... I've been away from Open too long.  Best wishes, /Kit |
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MyEnchanted_Melody Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be. |
Such a lovely touching piece..... It evoked in my mind images from the movie (Message in a Bottle)..... I really loved it...... Thank you **************************** |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
You've captured the pain and ellation of loving one that belongs to another. The sea. This is beautifully strong in passionate waves of the dreaded fairwell. Sincerely, Regina |
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illusion Member
since 2001-06-19
Posts 296 |
I'm reminded of the old song "Brandy" by Looking Glass - for she also had the sea as a competitor she could not conquer. She only wanted to sustain him Hoping thru her eyes, his own beauty he might then see Perhaps in another place and time They could have hoped for more than just one night Still for a while his light was all she could see In his arms she believed contentment was at last in sight His breath breathed new life into her His kiss took her breath away He became her ache unending Though always knowing he couldn't stay I love this passage - for we often face limitations on love and the ache is the same no matter why paradise is lost. I heard the rhythms of the sea as I read the poem aloud - Beautiful![This message has been edited by illusion (edited 08-06-2001).] |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
JM, You have pickled my brain With thoughts of insane. Randy has double saddles And I am astradle. And my ID Will no longer Do my bid. Winkiewinkie Stinky Your poem has captured my soul. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
You have written my heart!!! |
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Decaflame Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635 |
Sweet muse returns to thee and in such gift, harmony a chance of meet, a sense of love between this earth and stars above a longing, a glimpse, of true heart a knowing that time, shall never part |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
yer beautiful!!! every facet of romance is so perfectly described here...the rush of discovery--and the sad resignation of being at odds with fate--stunning, m'dear. You were not suffering from writer's block--you were incubating this perfect poem that just screams "Janet Marie"!!!! I've missed you. |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Wow! JM! Where have you been hiding this?? Absolutely wonderful...from the title to the last word! jwesley |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Janet Marie- WOW! I knew that we were bound to find a real beauty from your pen very soon... I just love this... "He became the moon that pulled her tides He became the rise and fall of her shorelines's sun He was the champagne never before tasted He was the beaches she had not yet strolled upon He was the languages she's never heard spoken He was the afterglow that warmed her till dawn" Absolutely beautiful and so full of heart. This is definitely one of my favorites of yours. It's wonderful to have you back, sweet friend. hugs, ~vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truely met the poet." -vlraynes [This message has been edited by vlraynes (edited 08-06-2001).] |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Well said Janet...James |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
'From the first moment her eyes gazed upon him She felt admiration, fascination, temptation Drawn to his dark mystery and intensity She discovered her own elation, inspiration, sweet salvation So she let his still waters wash over her In his depths she willingly drowned Riding his waves of passion Her own unknown desires were finally found She hung on his every word By his touch she came undone He became the moon that pulled her tides He became the rise and fall of her shorelines's sun He was the champagne never before tasted He was the beaches she had not yet strolled upon He was the languages she's never heard spoken He was the afterglow that warmed her till dawn' Hey, J...this is absolutely one of the most beautiful stories told in verse that I have ever read, and I'm not just saying that 'cuz I'm biased, either...  ...this truly is a fantastic write, girlie...your usual excellence in rhyme and cadence and all that good poetic stuff...into the library, fer sure...  sp  it was love that first drew me, |
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Dee Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330Queensland, Australia |
Janet, I always expect wonderful things when I read your poems. Of course this is no exception. Dee I wish you every happiness and may you always have the best of the good things in life. a brand |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Well, I was browsing and found this Gem.. Pure Janet, moth to flame burning yearning sweetness. Didn't Elvis do a song with that burn... hunk a hunk a burning love... Its a sweet painful lament, loved it. Please wait by the shore, while I get a boat. Parker |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
~* Bravo Janet Marie *~1st class all the way, from the title to the ending, and I have not read of romance written like this for a long time. It was hard to pick a favorite but here it is: "So she let his still waters wash over her In his depths she willingly drowned Riding his waves of passion Her own unknown desires were finally found" ~ To see real beauty you must look with your heart ~ |
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Kitty** Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 428Charlottesville,VA USA |
THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST PIECES THAT I HAVE READ HERE !!! WONDERFUL !! You have written my heart in such a way that no one else has EVER come close to !!! Thank you...I plan to keep this one ! ((hugs)) Kitty If you can't make it so, |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoy |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Jan, wow where the hell have i been? seems like ive been under a rock or something. so glad i didn't miss this though! exquisite writing...read like a story, one of those books you dont ever want to put down! beautiful imagery, stunning rhyme. as always i sit here in awe of YOU my dear friend! take care. love ya muchly, Amy "Don't make you can't keep |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
magic.....100% magic......sigh.....I dated a fishermen once.....this made me think of him.......wow when you set your pen to paper, you make magic I read this yesterday and it was so powerful and brought up memories of CJ dang....awesome write from you.....saving this one for sure!! |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
This is definitely one of your best and not only does it carry that melancholy appeal to it but it reads perfectly aloud. The images, the cadence and the sheer emotion in it show the effort in this piece of yours and also shows that when you feel the words flowing, there is nothing stopping you from posting a masterpiece. Okay, so on a scale of MC proportions ... this one is a ten. Love ya girlie girl. ps. Did I mention the rhyme was superb in the 2/4 lines? [This message has been edited by Mark Bohannan (edited 08-07-2001).] |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
Such longing and hopelessness in these words. To see in "him" all the answers to her needs the whole time there being no tomorrows for it......well it depresses. Well written. "Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to decieve" |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Beautifully done, Janet Marie! Very very lovely! |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
You groovy grape girlie...you know why I love it...you  Fantastic write sweetsseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you can weave if you wanna...or stop working so hard at it...remember...it's fun to weave....like I'm one to give advice on the writers block thing...but hey I can give it...just can't take it Love you sweets and love the work you do...like only you can do!! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Thank you all for your kind, generous and encouraging replies... This was a bit different style/theme for me.. so it means much to me to know you all saw what I was trying to convey. I sincerely and heartfelt appreciate each one of you for your constant support my work. Love to Poetry Land jm wont you sing me your poetry |
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