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Open Poetry #15
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Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania

0 posted 2001-08-04 10:22 AM


Devil's Wave

Oh, wind that churns the sea at night
Please fill my sail with gusts of might
And let my raft push swiftly on
Before the crimson light of dawn

Please guide me east across the bay
While stars atop the water play
On billowed wing propel me far
Upon the footsteps of a star

Defiant waves, come slap my raft.
With foot and arm to hold the craft
and father’s pride upon my face,
Please blow me to the fisher’s place

Lead me on to devil’s wave
The demon of the fisher’s grave
And let me live in victory
For one who vanished in the sea

Long ago it shook the night
Of little boy who clutched on tight
To fallen sail and broken mast
And stayed atop the little craft

The wave that took my father down
To ocean’s depth to wear his crown
Had tried to pull me far below
Where honor would not let me go

And so against the ocean’s wish
I held on to the netted fish
And in the red of rising sun
Went back the path from which I’d come

Come devil wave, Come test my skill!
Now I, a man, to test your will!
Inside my heart the ocean’s roar
Incites a fear I knew before

I'll load my net with sea’s sweet flower
Of bounty fish at daybreak hour
And curse the fear my eyes have shown
And in the hearts who wait at home

On crystal bay on raft’s embark
In starlight’s stream that lights the dark
Through winds of fear I hear a voice
That makes a fisher’s heart rejoice

Now, little boy, don’t fear, my son
My honor you have bravely won
And looking up through tropic sea
I see the man who honored me

Sail on, my son, to places far
Go east to where the fishes are
Your childhood fears will all be gone
Before the crimson light of dawn

Elizabeth Santos


© Copyright 2001 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2001-08-04 10:40 AM


Elizabeth,
An excellent work and a delight to read. Thank you for poesting. Sy

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2001-08-04 12:14 PM


what a very cool poem ...
I love the storyline and theme that runs thru this...
the imagery is masterfully done..as is the cadence..
your writing always satisfies my craving for rhyme, and this was a melodic treat to read aloud.
excellent Liz...as always..excellent  

slow burn ...
light a candle for our love
So that we will always be
one on one in lovely love

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
3 posted 2001-08-04 12:22 PM


what they said, 100%

very enjoyable to read...intense, exciting, not one bit of forced rhyme, impeccable flow

great story!

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2001-08-04 01:37 PM


Lizzie~
This is just a wonderful piece.
You always deliver the goods ...
and this is VERY VERY GOOD !

I so enjoyed it.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                                   noles1@totcon.com            

illusion
Member
since 2001-06-19
Posts 296

5 posted 2001-08-04 03:01 PM


You've told a great story with flawless rhyme and rhythm - I enjoyed it very much.  
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

6 posted 2001-08-04 06:15 PM


perfection in verse..

" I walked beside the evening sea And dreamed a dream that could not be" George William Curtis"

Kay

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
7 posted 2001-08-04 06:39 PM



Wow - Liz, as aways your talent leaves me in awe, this is the epitome of perfection  

Melissa~

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
8 posted 2001-08-04 07:22 PM


It's always nice to see your poetry,
I especially like this one.
Not only the craftsmanship of the poem
but the subject also.

Gloom

Rick
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903
Victoria, Australia
9 posted 2001-08-04 08:07 PM


An absolutely beautiful poem filled with courage, love, honour and then freedom. You have been gifted by the words of rhyme and the lines of verse. I sat there on your raft defying the sea, meeting the ghost of the past and embracing your freedom.

I loved it.

Rick

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
10 posted 2001-08-06 09:10 AM


I like this one lots, Liz... I feel shades of the Old Man & the Sea... You give Ernest a run for his money for sure...
oh2beme
Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 215
NV USA
11 posted 2001-08-07 02:38 AM


Elizabeth...it's been awile since I've been in here. I didn't think you could get any better, but you have proved me wrong. Each piece of yours that I read is like a lays chip...I just want more!!!! The best thing is that your reads don't go to my hips...LOL
Very well done...thanks for the ride along on this trip...Debbie

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
12 posted 2001-08-07 02:45 AM


Well...thank you Elizabeth, I was wondering what I would read my Granddaughter tomorrow, and this is perfect!  What an absolutely charming story, and it has the "Santos signature" on it as is definitely your own.  Just wonderful.

~ To see real beauty you must look with your heart ~
           ~* Mysteria *~

sean mani
Junior Member
since 2001-08-06
Posts 27

13 posted 2001-08-07 03:37 AM


hey elizabeth...this was a strong poem allright...the way u rhymed time was good...I can truly see that u were fightin the wave...but the poem has lot to offer for...it has many meanings...at one point we know its  a person ridin through her wave...but in the other point we can see the waves represent her inner feelings over the loss of her father...



vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
14 posted 2001-08-12 03:00 PM



Elizabeth-
   This is absolutely wonderful!
   I truly enjoyed the read.

   hugs,
   ~vicky


"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes



Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
15 posted 2001-08-12 04:20 PM



In the much that we have to teach our childrens hearts
It's the touch like this that is their start

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
16 posted 2001-08-12 05:28 PM


Some fishermen on Brazils east coast fish in groups of 24 men and pull in a large net. Some fish alone on small rafts, leaving late at night, following the path of the stars on the bay that leads out to deeper waters. So many of them lose their lives but refuse to change to safer fishing practices. This story happens all the fime. My best freinds husband is a fisherman who fishes with partner, but comes home with unimaginable stories of these little rafts getting cought in storms, etc
THank you for your interest and responses to this poem
Liz

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