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Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

0 posted 2001-08-03 03:24 PM

With seductive enticement
She dressed the day in
Robes of shimmering
Diaphanous white,
Belying the treachery
Which lay ahead
For the unwary
And careless.

Allowing only glimpses
Of the corporeal
You whisked away
In swirling clouds
Of chaos the surety
Of what was seen
And left bewildered
Onlookers hypnotically
Bemused.

Beware the beauty
For with black ice charm
She misleads the mind
And leaves behind
The wrecked fools
Who underestimate
Her power.

Lady In White

Member Elite

since 2001-02-12

Posts 2799
USA

1 posted 2001-08-03 03:30 PM

One must be oh so careful where they place their trusting hearts....

she does indeed sound quite treacherous....

Interloper

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-06

Posts 8369
Deep in the heart

2 posted 2001-08-03 03:32 PM

her imagined charm
hidden 'neath carnal beauty
will devastate you

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

3 posted 2001-08-03 03:40 PM

Lady: yes one must not always trust the surface... and collisions insurance for broken hearts is expensive... could say they bleed you for it..

Interloper... again summed it up in alot fewer words than I... nicely written

Zinsser
Senior Member

since 2001-02-27

Posts 1641
Calif.

4 posted 2001-08-03 04:28 PM

Cpat: Beware the beauty
For with black ice charm
She misleads the mind

Love these lines...

Thank You
~~~Connie~~~

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

5 posted 2001-08-03 04:36 PM

Thanks Connie... I do appreciate knowing what if any parts of the poems people enjoy or hate for that matter... your comment is greatly appreciated

illusion
Member

since 2001-06-19

Posts 296

6 posted 2001-08-03 04:44 PM

I could read the first verse over and over, simply to absorb the imagery.

But being trapped in such bemusement would have deprived me of reading the rest of an excellent poem. From a wrecked fool who made the mistake of underestimation - well done!

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

7 posted 2001-08-03 04:50 PM

Illusion..thank you for such nice words... they are appreciated!!

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite

since 2001-06-21

Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...

8 posted 2001-08-05 11:47 AM

Some very nice vocab here, Ron -- really adds to the feel and description. Sounds like she needs a heart whose fiery passion can melt away her icy patterns...

-MVS

"When you tell the Truth, you never have to remember what you just said."
--Del Casher

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

9 posted 2001-08-05 12:32 PM

CPatHair~
B r r r r r r r r r r !
You definitely got the chilled imagery across.
Nicely done.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

10 posted 2001-08-05 03:43 PM

clever employ of imagery, vocab, verbiage, and turn of phrase to create this ones haunted, sharp, impact.
very cool poem...love the title.
jm

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