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SmittenKitten
Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131
where the sky and horizon meet

0 posted 2001-08-03 01:22 PM


Shimmering water
Mirroring the azure sky
Hiding your secrets

[This message has been edited by SmittenKitten (edited 08-03-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Krista C. - All Rights Reserved
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
1 posted 2001-08-03 01:28 PM


Cumulous heavens
Securely holding secrets
Watching from above

Nice first haiku, Kitten...

Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
2 posted 2001-08-03 01:33 PM


SmittenKitten~

Rain pouring on me
Twenty-four hours a day
Florida is WET



*Nice job, gal~
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                                 noles1@totcon.com              

SmittenKitten
Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131
where the sky and horizon meet
3 posted 2001-08-03 01:39 PM


Nan ~ cumulous...what a lovely word     thank you for adding it to my vocabulary!  
And what a wonderful haiku!  That should be a post all on its own!  
Thank you for the read and beautiful reply  

Marge ~ hehe...send some my way!  It's horribly dry here in Ontario.  At the campground I work at, we actually have a fire-ban!  Loooots of unhappy campers.
Thanks for reading and giving me a laugh     

[This message has been edited by SmittenKitten (edited 08-03-2001).]

Interloper
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
4 posted 2001-08-03 01:49 PM


SK ~ Very good first effort ... on your Senryu.  First two lines in Haiku form, but last line take from nature and inserts a human.
===============
Shimmering water
Mirroring the azure sky
Hiding your secrets
================
Maybe:

shimmering water
mirroring the azure sky
hidden secrets there

might be a Haiku.
~~~~~~~~~
Don't hate me, please.  Your piece is VERY lovely and, as you may know, it is my favorite format.
Please write another very soon

SmittenKitten
Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131
where the sky and horizon meet
5 posted 2001-08-03 01:54 PM


Interloper ~ hehehe...I don't hate you    I think that's hilarious.  
Thank you for pointing that out    so personification = bad in haiku?  

Lady In White
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Member Elite
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799
USA
6 posted 2001-08-03 01:55 PM



water's winking lights
hiding jewels of stars' lights
denizens enfold

SmittenKitten
Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131
where the sky and horizon meet
7 posted 2001-08-03 01:59 PM


Lady ~ wonderful!  You have a knack for these    I've seen your replies to Interloper and now I'm honoured that you have replied to mine in like form    thank you!
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
8 posted 2001-08-03 02:02 PM


Smitten,
Nice write enjoyed the read.

Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

9 posted 2001-08-03 02:45 PM


very nicely done... a pleasure to see new forms tried... good work!!
Interloper
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
10 posted 2001-08-03 02:54 PM


those bright reflections
stars twinkling on waved surface
what secrets below

http://members.home.net/excalibur2501/Interloper.htm

illusion
Member
since 2001-06-19
Posts 296

11 posted 2001-08-03 04:38 PM


Thunder shouts secrets
Forest nods understanding
Humans hear just loud.

And aren't we glad our secrets aren't comprehended?   I enjoyed this very much, SmittenKitten.

SmittenKitten
Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131
where the sky and horizon meet
12 posted 2001-08-04 12:57 PM


Seymour ~ thank you kindly    it was nice of you to stop by!

Cpat ~ it's a pleasure to try something new!    as always, thank you for your kind words!

Interloper ~
water held secrets
hidden under sparkling waves
forever kept there


illusion ~
thunder seeks notice
forest shows acquiescence
humans don't listen

kaile
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
13 posted 2001-08-04 09:14 PM


stone thrown on waters
rippling waves move aside
did secrets surface?

enjoyed the read...write on..post more!

SmittenKitten
Senior Member
since 2001-06-20
Posts 1131
where the sky and horizon meet
14 posted 2001-08-05 10:40 PM


faterider ~
rippled by thrown stones
water parts and recombines
secrets are surfaced


thank you for the encouragement!  And lovely response  

paladin
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Senior Member
since 2001-08-05
Posts 930
Pensacola,Fl.
15 posted 2001-08-06 04:52 PM


I love all forms of minimalist poetry.I offer this one.
              Candle
           One candle
           Oasis of light
           In the dark

paladin

shadow974
Senior Member
since 2001-06-21
Posts 636
Michigan
16 posted 2001-08-06 05:06 PM


Well done, Ilove the form and stile but I haven't written any.

Throw your heart out in front of you
And run out to catch it.

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
17 posted 2001-08-06 05:28 PM



shimmering surface
reflects the azure sky light
keep secrets in dark


You wrote a beautiful senhaik   I really loved it. Keep writing them please.

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Feel free to use the pictures on my website. http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace/

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