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Open Poetry #15
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Forbidden
| Open Poetry #15 |
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Forbidden |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298
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Forbidden I am afraid, in the darkness crowded in a size twin bed- a trusted memory, a visitor to passion, unrest and me- lonely nights have declined passion's appetite, until it is frail and much too thin. And now temptation- the indulgence of you, and I have no willpower to deny. You are chocolate- to the addicted, ice cream- to the sweet inflicted. Warm, willing and too young... you are almost tangible. I have tired of trying to touch a memory's face, of laying with a ghost and holding empty space. The tears fall… You don’t need to see. Alone, I don't sleep. |
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| © Copyright 2001 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved | |||
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
a very intersting write... read this three times..and each time came away with something different... I enjoyed..for several reasons... but mostly for the tension it conveys... and it does that well |
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RMW Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424 |
Jellybeans ...... Sensitive and special. Thank you for sharing. Bob |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
hmmmmmmmm well then the confusion I felt in several hundred edits.....because nothing feels right in this goes over well does it? thank you...this was hard to write..and it still feels unfinished.... RMW thank you |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
I can see where you might feel it unfinished... but then again..are they ever? Hard writes..are the ones that come from someplace we don't visit often...someplace we try and avoid or have trouble understanding or admitting... I can see whay this one would be a hard write...and I don't think you have missed the mark with meaning... I just looked at it and said "What if it was about this?" and could make it apply itself to several things or situations... I also think it good to leave open enough room for the reader to apply the words to their life... their experiences..and I think this one does that quite well... |
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MyEnchanted_Melody Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be. |
I enjoyed this alot.... You have drawn this feeling so well... Thank you ******************** |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
With confusion comes the certainty that we will never be fully certain. Well written and expressed. |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Presents the confusion and longing ... and fear. Will you write more? |
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shadow974 Senior Member
since 2001-06-21
Posts 636Michigan |
They're never complete even after the pin drops the mind winds. Good work. Throw your heart out in front of you |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
cpat, thank you and yes you do understand life and muses very well....again thank you for all your kind comments on my poems, you and a couple of others are the reason I am still posting  MEM thank you so much Mark...boy you hit it right, thank you Interloper, I am fairly positive I will write more on this, this particular incentive has my muse in overdrive, which is nice considering the dry spell I had been through, thank you shadow, thank you glad you enjoyed |
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