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Constance
Member

since 2001-07-28

Posts 393
Ohio

0 posted 2001-07-28 09:21 PM

From A Dark Place

days are darker somehow
than they ever were
the sun
rises and sets in a world
separate from mine

the sun
is where you are
and what you are

and I
am in a place no chart records
of my own making
where cold is to the bone
and pain is in the dream
and also in the waking

if you
close your eyes in quiet moments
and feel within your ribs
a faint beating
in counterpoint to your
own heart

it is
that part of me which
could not leave you and
will not

if you
think of me often
or never
please keep my heart

which I
shall not need
though I shall miss it
miss you
and the sun

shadow974
Senior Member

since 2001-06-21

Posts 636
Michigan

1 posted 2001-07-28 09:33 PM

It's sad that relationships end, nicely written poem.

Throw your heart out in front of you
And run out to catch it.

ShannonM
Member

since 2001-07-28

Posts 104
Drifitng

2 posted 2001-07-28 09:45 PM

I like this. You definitely express emotions well...a sadness and longing...this poem makes me feel melancholy. Good job.

Shannon

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant

since 2000-07-06

Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England

3 posted 2001-07-28 10:30 PM

This truly is bittersweet.....and there is a longing and sadness, while at the same time a love shown within that can't let go. Wonderful expressions here.....

The road goes on forever, and the stories never end...

Trillium

Member Patricius

since 2001-03-09

Posts 12098
Idaho, USA

4 posted 2001-07-28 10:34 PM

Very well done, but a painful subject. Hope it is not from personal experience! Hope to see more of your work.

Betty Lou Hebert

Constance
Member

since 2001-07-28

Posts 393
Ohio

5 posted 2001-07-28 10:38 PM

Thank you all for your comments. I appreciate that you took the time to read me and make observations. I'll try to submit something lighter next time---lest you all think I'm contemplating a dirt nap! LOL

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite

since 2001-06-21

Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...

6 posted 2001-07-29 01:20 PM

This had the feeling of floating weightless like a satellite in orbit around a planet which is oblivious to the satellite's presence... Very nicely emoted.

-MVS

"When you tell the Truth, you never have to remember what you just said."
--Del Casher

Constance
Member

since 2001-07-28

Posts 393
Ohio

7 posted 2001-07-29 01:32 PM

Mark, what an interesting take on this piece! I even re-read it myself from a new perspective and you're right. Isn't it wonderful to find out these things? Thanks for your view.

Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant

since 2000-03-16

Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA

8 posted 2001-07-29 01:53 PM

Very emotional write, Constance. Letting go is never easy, but if we stand looking at the closed door forever we miss the new door that has opened in its stead. Well done.

All writing comes
by the grace of God.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

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