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Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

0 posted 2001-07-31 12:02 PM


*Revised from Open Poetry 9*
(Dedicated to my father)


Let Me Be Free
By Melissa P. Monette


~*~
In the bleed of sun unto evening shadows
why must you discourage my growth
desecrating the delicate limbs of heartstrings
to tear apart my transformation
within introspection's cocoon?
Why do you molest the destiny of my flutter
violating the sacredness of my spirit
within the darkness of your closed hands
when all the universe should be mine to explore?

Let me be free
as I was meant to be
that ever elusive butterfly
a rainbow of wonders across life's sky
and in my beautiful release shall I forgive you
yet, bid farewell
to the one who tried to clip my wings back
to match his decay
~*~




© Copyright 2001 Melissa P. Long-Monette - All Rights Reserved
JLR
Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785

1 posted 2001-07-31 12:22 PM


It is with little sadness that I admit relating to this.  I gave up long ago on a relationship with my father.  Thank you for having the courage to say what you've said here.  It helps to know that I'm not the only one who didn't have Robert Anderson as a dad.
Janette
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-07-20
Posts 2843
Chicagoland for now
2 posted 2001-07-31 12:33 PM


Ohhhh Melissa, sweetie, you do speak volumes with this poem....very powerful writing.

The ending made me shiver:

"yet, bid farewell
to the one who tried to clip my wings back
to match his decay"

Wowowowow...the use of the word "decay" is brilliant...it fits perfectly!  I am impressed.

cottage
Member
since 2001-06-21
Posts 138

3 posted 2001-07-31 02:40 AM


very wonderful and feeling, I really like this poem a lot...thanks...
Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

4 posted 2001-07-31 08:23 AM


very touching and telling... I hope the freedom you find brings happiness...

enjoyed

Constance
Member
since 2001-07-28
Posts 393
Ohio
5 posted 2001-07-31 09:15 AM


This is the kind of poem that helps us get past the the pot holes and back on the road. Very well expressed sense of regret, possibly some resentment, but no bitterness--this is healing. VERY nice.
Interloper
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
6 posted 2001-07-31 09:20 AM


Amen, never be taken down to another's level.  You can reach down to bring someone up, but never get down there yourself.
Well written indeed!  

[URL=http://members.home.net/excalibur2501/Interloper.htm[/URL]]

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
7 posted 2001-07-31 12:14 PM


"Let me be free as I was meant to be."
A wonderful expressive poem that flows smoothly off the paper...James

SEA
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Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
8 posted 2001-07-31 12:31 PM


goodness, the soft, beautiful power in your words have touched me completely  
MyEnchanted_Melody
Senior Member
since 2001-05-30
Posts 1106
across the land of dreams. In your heart, I'd always be.
9 posted 2001-07-31 07:07 PM




yet, bid farewell
to the one who tried to clip my wings back
to match his decay
--------------------

Oh.....this is so beautiful and touching.


Yes....
let your butterfly colors take you away
and see your own day
in your own way

Thank you
*************************

Sven
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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
10 posted 2001-07-31 07:10 PM


I rememeber this one Melissa. . . you've done wonderfully with this revision. . . and given your words even more power. . .

superbly done. . .

------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
11 posted 2001-08-01 08:30 PM


Melissa, what a strong poem. Sad and powerful. I understand the feelings here also.
Sandra

Flutterwings
Member
since 2001-07-10
Posts 288
Maine
12 posted 2001-08-02 12:08 PM


A somber, honest, from the heart read. Expressed with much inner conflict that came across so poetically well painted. I stand and applaud a work of art!   Love and peace ((~.~))
Parker
Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129
ON
13 posted 2001-08-02 01:02 AM


this was very very nice.  

I hope my pattern in my replies isn't too obvious here.... not that I'm sure what that pattern is...

Maybe you should tell me.....

Parker

Charisma
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
14 posted 2001-08-02 01:18 AM


Thank you for sharing....as I know these feelings quite well myself.

((hugs))
Charisma

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
15 posted 2001-08-02 02:33 AM


this piece is aching profoundly,  these two lines really grabbed me...the rest of the closing, too, but the last two lines, though extremely necessary to your message , were just too sad to put here...

and in my beautiful release shall I forgive you                                                         yet, bid farewell

MARK V SHELDON
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015
In a corporeal internship...
16 posted 2001-08-03 04:57 PM


This poem brings to mind, once more, for me, my favorite words of Wisdom:  "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;  the courage to change the things I can;  and the wisdom to know the difference"...  Tragic but honest write.

-MVS

"When you tell the Truth, you never have to remember what you just said."
--Del Casher

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