a maybe self-indulgent piece

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Open Poetry #15

a maybe self-indulgent piece

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

0 posted 2001-07-27 02:12 PM

someone called me an unworthy friend today
i didn't reveal much emotion

she said she had judged me so based on the conversation we had been having
i was indignant at the way she readily made conclusions

i resolutely told her she was wrong

i wish i can carry on writing

but i am left
feeling guilty for the girl whom i might have hurt
and wondering
(while contradictory emotions threaten to burst out of my fragile shell and wreck havoc)

what if,

what if,

she is right after all??

[This message has been edited by faterider (edited 07-27-2001).]

Voiceless
Senior Member

since 2001-02-19

Posts 686
Under the stars upon the wind

1 posted 2001-07-27 02:53 PM

Ouch one of those hard questions
that threaten to leave one drowning
in guilt..Ouch..

Freedom is not Free (Korean War memorial)

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

2 posted 2001-07-28 11:12 AM

I love this new style of yours my friend. . . I think that it suits you better. . .

of course, there will be comparisons made to cummings, but. . . you probably already know that. . . I like the way that it is just there on the page. . . like your thoughts were written out. . . and that's how the flow came. . .

I love this last part:

quote:
and wondering
(while contradictory emotions threaten to burst out of my fragile shell and wreck havoc)

what if,

what if,

she is right after all??

the parenthetical expression is perfect, and followed my train of thought exactly as I read this. . .

you've done great with this one. . . keep going!!!

---------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

3 posted 2001-07-28 05:38 PM

Yes is this a misunderstanding or a moment of truth? James

Constance
Member

since 2001-07-28

Posts 393
Ohio

4 posted 2001-07-28 05:53 PM

You have captured perfectly, a moment most of us have struggled with.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.