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Open Poetry #15
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Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA

0 posted 2001-07-25 04:39 PM


The phone is mine enemy , wastrel of time !
Yea , as of this writing it's evil bell chimes !
A clarion call which bodes nothing of good ,
has sought to do battle with number 2 wood .

Fool-hardy usurper your braying means naught .
I summon a saying that hist'ry has taught ,
" I'll not ask of bells why they toll , nor for who ".
That scores one for me and leaves zero for you !

Your claxon sound pierces the stillness again ,
It's shrillness a deafening blow without end .
I rally my forces and say " Get thee hence ,
you've nothing to say which is worth the expence !"

Re-coiling your cord now hangs limp by your side .
Your number is up , you've got nowhere to hide .
To marketers all I say " Don't mess with me ,
'cause Dr. Moose has installed caller I.D.

© Copyright 2001 William E.Kleist - All Rights Reserved
Lady In White
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Member Elite
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799
USA
1 posted 2001-07-25 04:43 PM



All Righty!  That's telling 'em Doc!

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
2 posted 2001-07-25 06:39 PM


FANTASTICALLY SAID!!! I wrote one of these recently, can't think of the title.  I posted it at PIP though I think it's likely in 14.

Found it:

Answering Machine Message
Virginia Salter

Your call’s important to me
leave a message at the beep
Your call’s important to me
unless you’re some kind of creep.

There’s another kind
for which I hold disdain
Toward telemarketers
I really must complain.

Ev’ry one needs to make a livin’
I know that is for sure
the one that I make
I’ll not be likely givin’
to those people
that sell plastic line to line
or patch up windshields
if your’snot doing fine.

There are some others
who love their fellow man
and give a call to plead
“Please give us what you can.”

They’re even kind enough
to suggest a starting point
but on the umpteenth call
I get a bit bent outta joint.

You see, I’m thinkin’
it’s an annual campaign
but I tell you brother
the years go by like rain.

So when someone calls
I’m more and more prone to say
if they pronounce my name all wrong...
“There’s no one here by that name, okay!”

Other times, Dear, they ask me for my ex
that really thrills me, I tell you to no end,
for his existence, I do not need defend.
I send them on their merry way
and have a chuckle with which to start my day.
heh heh heh


© July 10, 2001

Oh, I don't have caller i.d. Last time I checked they didn't have it in our area, but they may now.


rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
3 posted 2001-07-25 07:26 PM


It's bad when you spend $7.00 on caller ID, $3.00 on anonymous phone block, and somehow they still get through. $120.. a year just to have some peace. They should ban telemarketing. I enjoyed your verse.
Sincerely,
Rwood

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

4 posted 2001-07-25 08:01 PM


ROTFL   Clever, delightful piece, Doc! Caller ID is fabulous, isn't it?
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
5 posted 2001-07-25 08:11 PM


I especially am fascinated with the computer marketers which take minutes to answer, giving you time to hang up.
Also the ones who assume I speak Spanish, and when  they realize I don't , they get angry at ME. Then I say in Spanish, "You're the one who called, and I'm the one who's mad"
Then there are the oneas who ask for M. Santos. When I ask which M. Santos they want, they don't know. So I say, if you don't know who you're calling, what are you doing on the phone,
But usually I just hang up
I loved your poem
Liz

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
6 posted 2001-08-14 05:49 PM


Lady in White ,
Thank you . One of my pet peeves .
Doc

VAS ,
Thanks . Got a chuckle or two out of yours also . I'm surprised we don't see more people writing about this .
Doc

rwood ,
Thanks . Gotta agree with you , seems like all the time we're paying more for something we're not getting !
Doc

Elizabeth ,
Thank you . And ditto . Glad you enjoyed .
Doc

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