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Open Poetry #15
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vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA

0 posted 2001-07-25 10:42 AM


      Rain comes like a thunder,
      Strike a stroke a lightning,
      Blink an eye of a lightning

[This message has been edited by vandana (edited 07-25-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 vandana - All Rights Reserved
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
1 posted 2001-07-25 10:48 AM


great idea!

You do need another "n" in lightning, though. I'm assuming, given the subject, you don't mean 'lighting'.

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2001-07-25 11:04 AM


Yes... this captures in minimalistic form the way a storm is percieved...
Rain is so different in different parts of the world... the intensity and the way way storms move or drop rain can vary...so I enjoyed this as it adds to the perception of
what kind of storm...

Now on the metaphorical side...it is also a very nice analogy for struggles or fighting..and or the emotional side of such...

I Enjoyed


Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
3 posted 2001-07-26 03:39 PM


Interesting write.  

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. Philip Sidney (1554-1586) Loving in Truth
[URL=http://members.home.net/excalibur2501/Interlope

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