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Open Poetry #15
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The Wedding ring
| Open Poetry #15 |
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The Wedding ring |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia 
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A symbol etching love that’s true In they with willing hearts Its giving paths a future new Where caring and commitment starts Then slowly wearing thin through time Each scratch, the toll of years Reminder of the vows once said The ring embraces joys and tears Worn to claim its wearer Is proof of love that’s true? To promise and commitment That’s vowed in marriage joining two |
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| © Copyright 2001 Rick Van Weenen - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
this is beautiful  nicely done |
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Decaflame Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635 |
Funny...when I take mine off, the impression remains... well done Rick! |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia |
Sea, thank you for your reply, nice that you enjoyed it. Decaflame, as the ring is the symbol, even though removed over time we remember and respect its mark and place, it the love was true so will stay the ring, on or off. Thanks again. Rick |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Rick--the words spoken at my wedding when the rings were placed on our fingers was..."This circle is forever". |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
This is beautiful, Rick. The message lovely, and the rhythm is quite fine until the last line. Try this idea: leave off "That's vowed" I think the words promise and commitment on the previous line provide the same information and the meter feels better to me with just: "In marriage joining two." Let me know what you think. It could be just the way I'm reading it and you most definitely should have the final word. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Rick, this is a lovely intend and a cadence kissed gem... a treat to read aloud... thank you for the sweet, poetic reply to my poem yesterday. Nice to see you posting again. well done poet sir take care jm |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
lovely writing Rick..enjoyed..hope to read more.. ~Victoria~ Every child is an artist. The challenge is to remain an artist once he grows up. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
The cadence was perfect, the idea of your poem wonderful and did I enjoy this - yes, and looking for another now? Great poem. ~ Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance ~And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance ~ I hope you dance. (Lee Ann Womack) |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
Mine is definately scratched and worn, but worth every second that made it become that way. I really liked this piece. It symbolizes the belief you must have in the commitment itself. Thanks so much for sharing, and thanks for your wonderful comments. You really are an encouraging soul. Sincerely, Rwood |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia |
Martie, thank you for your comments, the circle is forever but love can change and go, what will bring the future years? Is something we don't know. Janet Marie To you thank you, wonderful comments to read, and to reply to your poetry is a pleasure indeed. Victoria, Thank you for the posting and comments, hope that you can join me in many other sessions. A big thank you to you all. Rick |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Nice thoughts. Like Deca, there is a non-tan ring around my finger when I take it off ... silent reminder. Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. Philip Sidney (1554-1586) Loving in Truth |
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Chelsea~ Member
since 2001-02-09
Posts 260Ontario, CANADA |
rick lovely words, yes, marriage is sacred |
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