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Open Poetry #15
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jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298


0 posted 2001-07-24 02:13 PM



first there were
four
but one was haunted
by ghosts no one could see
and she stepped into
the shadows
to hide
and we lost her
and then there were
three
one married money
and bred more by hanging
an attorney sign
above his name
and then there were
two
one just couldn't function
sanely
in a world without bars
and rules
and so he pulled the trigger
on a cop
to leave no doubt that
he would have some
and then there was one
and she dreams of wings
and she dreams of flight
but to the ground
she clings tight
she is afraid to let go
she is afraid of the shadows
the money
the bars and
its not so much the flight
she tells herself
its the eventual not knowing
how to land
crash and burn that bothers
her the most
and she is afraid
to look to the sky
for one
two
and
three


© Copyright 2001 jellybeans - All Rights Reserved
SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
1 posted 2001-07-24 02:17 PM


this is great writing  
Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2001-07-24 02:23 PM


agree.. this is great...

seems like I have alot to say about it..and the words.. well they all sound wrong..so I'll just say again

I enjoyed


VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
3 posted 2001-07-24 02:23 PM


this is so very great and I think I know her, sometimes


jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

4 posted 2001-07-24 02:39 PM


thank you.....this one is personal.....well, I guess most of mine are...sigh...thanks again  
Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

5 posted 2001-07-26 09:04 AM


had to visit this again... I stil find it haunting and filled with honest expression... I enjoyed again!
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
6 posted 2001-07-26 09:07 AM


Jellybeans,
A strong write, enjoyed

Interloper
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
7 posted 2001-07-27 12:00 PM


An enjoyable read.  We can get you landing lessons very cheap

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. Philip Sidney (1554-1586) Loving in Truth
[URL=http://members.home.net/excalibur2501/Interlope

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

8 posted 2001-07-27 02:23 PM


cpat...thank you.....in case you revisit, its about my brothers and sister and I...no mystery, just lots of disfunctionalism...sigh

seymore thank you  

Interloper *g* well landing lessons or some thing soft to land on or a pair of strong arms to catch me *wink* any volunteers?

catalinamoon
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
9 posted 2001-07-27 05:27 PM


Chills here also, this is quite scary in its expression. Excellent write.
Sandra

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
10 posted 2001-07-27 06:26 PM



jellybeans-
   Wow..a powerful and chilling write!
   Very nicely done!
  
   ~vicky


"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes



mirror man
Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814

11 posted 2001-07-27 11:12 PM


Very interesting.  Good read.
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