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Open Poetry #15
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walker
Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240
Florida

0 posted 2001-07-23 07:33 PM


The dense air
doesn't let me breathe
It doesn't affect you
you are immune to it
If only it was so easy
to let you go
If only I could be so strong
But instead
I've learned to live
with this poison air
which kills slowly.

© Copyright 2001 walker - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2001-07-23 08:12 PM



This is a harsh, stark piece...I hope you are writing this from the outside looking in, and not the opposite...

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
2 posted 2001-07-24 09:03 AM


oh yes.....there have been many if only's, but there is also a cure,
when the poison air is blown away by the sweet fresh breeze of a new love...
The 'if only's' will vanish....
and this was a thought provoking write, my friend!!  

The road goes on forever, and the stories never end...
  
    


JLR
Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785

3 posted 2001-07-25 01:56 AM


Breathing is pretty important...perhaps a decision is called for.  Sorry, that wasn't advice, not from me.  Ha!  Good one, walker.
ThUnDeRkYsS
Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727
Wisconsin
4 posted 2001-07-25 02:31 AM


So hard this stuff can be, stick in there and the air gets nicer  

Strive for higher levels, if they seem out of reach... Grow, and they will get closer.



Ethan Halo
Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793
on the roof again
5 posted 2001-07-25 06:17 AM


i know it sounds like a load, but you keep hangin and you'll feel better. you just gotta get out there and find a new beautiful baby.  

stark, but ....intriguing read. i like it. it has a hook on it.

the Bar is always open.
the Time is always right.
if god's lovin Word goes unspoken,
the Music goes all night.

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
6 posted 2001-07-25 06:50 AM


Excellent descriptive piece Walker ... the mood you've captured weighs heavy and compliments your phrasing well, nicely written!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
7 posted 2001-07-25 10:39 AM


enjoy
VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
8 posted 2001-07-25 10:42 AM


oh, my!
Sometimes we do learn to endure that which is caustic to us because of "the something else" it provides.

Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
9 posted 2001-07-26 01:52 PM


Take your mouth off the tailpipe

Starkly, darkly, hopelessly written.  I pray from an upset muse and not life.

Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. Philip Sidney (1554-1586) Loving in Truth
[URL=http://members.home.net/excalibur2501/Interlope

thecraig
Member
since 2001-03-11
Posts 223

10 posted 2001-07-26 03:01 PM


Flowers ?????????????????????????

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