navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #15 » Stale Of Nothing
Open Poetry #15
Post A Reply Post New Topic Stale Of Nothing Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

0 posted 2001-07-22 06:25 PM



Stale Of Nothing

The hand which crafted my cradle
was the heart that was my world
ever cruel how that same hand
can leave my soul unfurled

And so, we live, we learn
but, why must I
cripple by burn
in wisdom's weep
for trusting you
in blind-eyed sleep
alone, unglued
cast out to dark
confused and chewed

The then of us has long since died
in the stale of nothing's shadow
two hearts divide in collide
in faith's bitter tomorrow
and our love seasons to hate
in passage of pain's conception
and now it's just too late
as I spiral in your deception

Bandaids aren't enough
for this bond that's smashed
heartbeat of screaming scars
time cannot surpass
in tick-tock of mar
'neath depression's glass
mama, this is goodbye
dying in sigh's why?
devoted to a memory
that isn't loyal to me

By Melissa P. Monette



[This message has been edited by Melissa Honeybee (edited 07-22-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Melissa P. Long-Monette - All Rights Reserved
Voiceless
Senior Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 686
Under the stars upon the wind
1 posted 2001-07-22 09:34 PM


The hurt in this poem is overwhelming.
The way it flows is great.
But I think the pain is expressed
very well.
Good job,
and good luck...

~*Freedom Is Not Free*~ (Korean War Memorial)

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
2 posted 2001-07-23 07:21 PM


the emotions here are those of one who has known a sting from a hand of love. . .

superbly expressed Melissa. . .

------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

3 posted 2001-07-24 12:18 PM


well written poetry, expressing your feelings clearly.  Nicely done.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2001-07-24 07:38 AM


The hand which crafted my cradle
was the heart that was my world
ever cruel how that same hand
can leave my soul unfurled
============================

that verse and the title speaks volumes
and this is power poetry with emotional impact....
your gift is your express and purge.
take care Melis,
hugs
jm

only you could give love that satisfies the soul...
see the darkness of my heart and still won't let me go.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2001-07-24 07:48 AM


Mellisa,
Love grows in the garden of your mind
And the soil is always understanding.
You do wrie well *L* Sy

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

6 posted 2001-07-24 08:47 AM


very well written...

pain filled lines...but still a pleasure to read..


Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
7 posted 2001-07-25 02:47 PM


You express the pain so well ... when do I get my million?
Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
8 posted 2001-07-25 03:33 PM


hurt so well expressed, that it hurt to read..

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #15 » Stale Of Nothing

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary