»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #15
»
Nocturnal Neoclassic
| Open Poetry #15 |
|
Nocturnal Neoclassic |
|
|
RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533
|
The incandescent gaseous sphere in its leaving, on its westward sojourn sinks from sight, trailing its rubescense, cause some grieving almost vacuuming iridescense, taking light. Am I strange? For I find darkness relieving and draw its cloak around me nice and tight for fear I find is all in ones perceiving, light of day reveals it, not so cool sweet night. For in day the saurian sadists are deceiving, more victims are awake to taste their spite, under Sun they spin their thanatoid weaving, better suits their Ombra scene not starlight. So as most may lament the days adjourn I welcome peaceful solace of its end, finding comfort in the whispered nocturne, I bathe in its reflection I depend. While I strengthen nightly in my solitude growing confidant of what I'm made of, I'll not so selfishly myself delude, I realize life is life because of Love. In these quiet hours are distractions hushed, I feel you as our hearts though distant beat a synchronous rhythm fate won't rush, yet when they merge my life will be complete. For in this and my autumn I have learned that life's a voyage teeming flows and eddies and a power far beyond me has discerned that our passion will converge when God is ready. |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Richard S. Wells jr. - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
our passion will converge when God is ready...powerful closing I really like this especially after the midway point, this is not to malign at all, but up until then I was feeling your intent was to send me to my dictionary LOL, but that's MY problem, not yours. The balance of the piece really began to flow, for me, understanding ensued and I no longer felt the need to go look up all the words I'd never seen before in the first half. If that's a criticism, so be it, it just may be saying you have quite a command of the language  |
||
|
rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
NO, not strange. Quiet time and waiting for the right time, is wise. Painful sometimes, but wise. Great verse! Sincerely, Rwood |
||
|
Flutterwings Member
since 2001-07-10
Posts 288Maine |
A very deep midnight write. In dream is where we can create our love. I felt like I was on a peaceful ocean riding the calm waves while reading this work of poetic art. My  to your talent.  ((~.~)) |
||
|
Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I have never read anything quite like this! " I walked beside the evening sea And dreamed a dream that could not be" George William Curtis" |
||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
RSWells, AMEN, enjoyed the red. |
||
|
Cosette New Member
since 2001-07-15
Posts 1 |
This will be one of my favorites of yours. You weave gentleness with intensity so perfectly. |
||
|
**lost** Junior Member
since 2001-07-16
Posts 32ma |
i must agree with the previous post. "You weave gentleness with intensity so perfectly." but maybe it is my ignorance and lack of and sufficent vocabulary but i think that maybe you may want to not lean so towards arcaic(sp?) words that give no feeling. such as the following other than that very well written i really enjoyed it. words: saurian rubescense thanatoid Ombra like i said maybe im just uneducated but it seems these words have no meaning they create no feeling for me. confused among strangers, |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Am I strange? For I find darkness relieving and draw its cloak around me nice and tight for fear I find is all in ones perceiving, light of day reveals it, not so cool sweet night. For in day the saurian sadists are deceiving, more victims are awake to taste their spite, under Sun they spin their thanatoid weaving, better suits their Ombra scene not starlight. So as most may lament the days adjourn I welcome peaceful solace of its end, finding comfort in the whispered nocturne, I bathe in its reflection I depend. While I strengthen nightly in my solitude growing confidant of what I'm made of, I'll not so selfishly myself delude, I realize life is life because of Love. In these quiet hours are distractions hushed, I feel you as our hearts though distant beat a synchronous rhythm fate won't rush, yet when they merge my life will be complete. ============================ Oh this is a dark beauty... suberb, clever, writing here RS I personally love when I come across words I dont know, I greatly enjoy broadening my vocabulary.. the vocab and verbiage in this is excellent as is the imagery, cadence and express of emotion. Also much enjoyed was the cryptic,vampy,dark edge the poem has..and the subtle romantic, longing emote in it as well. Once again I find another impressive poem next to your name well done poet sir jm only you could give love that satisfies the soul... |
||
|
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Liking this very much. Well done. There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. |
||
|
RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
OK! I feel compelled to explain myself. The last thing I want is to cause any misgivings here at what so far has been a pleasurable website. I am not pompous. The only initials behind my name are jr. (though senior is twenty years gone). I have merely a high school education. I walked a long and tortuous road rather than the traditional one most here perhaps have. I am fairly new to this which I call word sculpting but am trying to do it in a self educated fashion which means reading many other's works. If I'd decided to paint I'd be studying Rembrandt et al, music Beethoven and the other masters. For poetry I go to that which has been proven beautiful for centuries and that is one reason why I mostly rhyme. To do this right (my opinion) I want to absorb as much of the English language as I can. How else could I ever hope to attain the title of wordsmith or even aspire to being referred to as "poet" if I don't employ as much of our beautiful and underrated language as possible. If my poems are challenging it's because I challenge myself. I would be happy to add footnotes if you, my friends would not think me arrogant. I would be eager to know your feelings on this idea. Saurian=Belonging to sauria, a grouping of reptiles eg; lizards and croodiles (dinosaurs); Thanatoid= Thantos-ancient Greek personification of death, Thanatopsis=an 1817 poem by William Cullen Bryant, A view or contemplation of death; Rubescence= to be red, blushing; Ombra=an operatic scene depicting Hades or similar surroundings. Yes, some words are perhaps archaic but I'd like for them to stick around. Please tell me how you feel on this. Thanks. "Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to decieve" |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
quote: Richard, You are exactly right...and personally it upsets me that you felt you had to justify or explain your poetry... If you want to add footnotes...no one should find you pompous, just as they should not find you so for using "challenging" words... and footnotes have been used here many times by some of our most esteemed writers... Im here to learn and grow as a poet...and that can only happen when we are open to new things...broading our vocabulary is a must, otherwise we'd be choking on the same cliche words over and over. And frankly...with literally thousands of dictionarys at our fingertips that take only seconds to locate a word...how hard is it for us to make the effort to learn a new word or two. Write however you enjoy and desire Richard... its up to the reader how much they grow in your light (and that is my humble opinion) This could be a very interesting topic for the pip lounge or one of the discussion forums. peace and poetry jm [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 07-23-2001).] |
||
|
Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Richard, I don't think you should change your direction at all... I don't find anything pompous in this write. Using words that may not be as popular or in common use as they might be elsewhere or to other poets does not negate their feeling or beauty. The challenge of using them is to be commended. You did select "accept critiques" option for this post. Some may not be to your liking, but I'm sure the critic is trying to be constructive in some way. Its your job to ignor the frivolous and emotionally unnecessary comments. Picking up that dictionary may bring a whole new meaning and feeling to that readers perception of your write and make them enjoy it much more. More importantly expand their vocabulary a little for the better. Some words can have a lonely existance it nice to see and learn of their existance from a challenged writer. Foot notes can be nice sometimes, it may get them to read it a second instead of chasing down a dictionary especially if the words are elusive and not found in all dictionaries. So write on good poet. Parker |
||
|
Decaflame Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635 |
There is never anything pompous about stretching one's self into a lexicon that is so abundant with verbiage that it leaves us gasping and grasping our books that much closer to us.... I don't pretend to know every word, so I enjoy searching my inner vocabulary to guess on them and then checking myself out to see if I am anywhere near correct...and Sir... I do the same, myself.... it is called self-improvement.... Don't change a thing but to expound on that adventure you are on.... it leaves us all much to enjoy! |
||
|
snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
'In these quiet hours are distractions hushed, I feel you as our hearts though distant beat a synchronous rhythm fate won't rush, yet when they merge my life will be complete.' Whoa, am I loving this, or what?? Excellent wording in this, RSWells...fantastic write...into my library, for sure! sp  it was love that first drew me, |
||
|
Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
RS , You write what-ever you feel like when-ever you feel like it . There is no need to ask permission here , nor to explain yourself . Most people are here to learn and expand ( aside from some minor censorship to appease the masses ). What-ever words you deem fit to relay , your message will be read and understood . Those who love words will not rest until they have them at their command . Thank you for this piece . I will read more . Doc |
||
Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Well here I am better late than never! Richard actually knows all these darn words, and makes me think! I have known him for a long time and the longer I know him the more he makes me think, and that is a good thing! So, having said that, Richard I love this piece and especially love these lines: "So as most may lament the days adjourn I welcome peaceful solace of its end, finding comfort in the whispered nocturne, I bathe in its reflection I depend." And yes, you stinker, I had to go look up one word, Ombra...but you being a perfectly-pitched tenor had the upper hand on that one, LOL! Great poetry and don't you dare ever explain what you write, feelings just are! And if you put footnotes, I personally will get out my red marker! ~ Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance ~And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance ~ I hope you dance. (Lee Ann Womack) |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
wow, I love this! love the flow and especially loved the ending Maree "little miss understood |
||
|
Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Richard, you know I love your work. You needn't explain or define the words you choose to use; we have dictionaries for that. It is good for us to stretch our vocabulary. I pride myself on a rich vocabulary, yet I had to look up a couple of words in your piece ... and I enjoyed to task. You write to your own metering and your style is attractive. Sometimes I read your work out load to get a better "feel" for it. Write on, with or without explanation and/or footnotes, and I will read, enjoy, and comment Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. Philip Sidney (1554-1586) Loving in Truth |
||
|
MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
I am flabbergasted, Richard. Without your explanation, I would NEVER have guessed that you are "self-taught"! You serve as an inspiration to the fact of how much is possible with desire and effort. Seems to me you are sojourning upon the same path as one Jack London, and it speaks for itself the path he paved for the literary world. I agree with many of the posts here: thrill me with some letter-combinations which spark my curiosity, challenge my intellect, and inspire my future works. Follow your Muse, wherever she may tread and fear not expectations or judgements of others -- your art becomes our art when it meets YOUR standards. -MVS "When you tell the Truth, you never have to remember what you just said." |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
