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Open Poetry #15
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Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven

0 posted 2001-07-21 11:17 PM


This Is A Moment ( that once was a memory )

The ground begins to refuse the rain
while the sky sadly promises more.
Restless clouds mill about in valleys -
and drift up against hillsides
before slowly moving upward
to scale their earthen dam.
They  spill over forested  ridges
as if needing to feel the other side.

It couldn’t have been yesterday
when we shared this gathering of gray –
for the naked fuzz of branches
finding modesty  beneath  misted veil,
are now flush with summer’s  wooing -
their green nearly black with rain.

“These Are The Moments”,  is
accompanied by the screak of wipers
as they stutter noisily across the glass.  
Silencing the discordant intruder, I smile,
realising – This  
is one of the moments.

Raindrops scattering tiny prisms
lend a surrealness to the scene
as the clear drops mottle the clouds.
Distance becomes less a matter of judgment
than of instinct,  time is bent by the music,
and memory becomes slanted by desire.

I think of you in your green winter,
choosing whether you would prefer
to sit on white or black sand when you
admire a south pacific view which has
inspired words you give to lighthouses,
and a love of home as great as my own.

When the time has come for season’s change
and for trees to again stand naked in the rain,
I will return to this place and think of you -
judging distance with a sailor's eyes , while
taking your ocean's pulse in measured tides.
Even as time changes moments into memories,
our times together will forever turn to moments.


~For Kamla~

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

© Copyright 2001 Jamie Patterson - All Rights Reserved
rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
1 posted 2001-07-21 11:36 PM


How wonderful! To choose to relive moments over and over in minds sweet memory. Than to simply put it on a shelf of lost time. Great decision, great work, great read.
Sincerely,
Rwood

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2001-07-21 11:40 PM


Raindrops scattering tiny prisms
lend a surrealness to the scene
as the clear drops mottle the clouds.
Distance becomes less a matter of judgment
than of instinct,  time is bent by the music,
and memory becomes slanted by desire.


I think of you in your green winter,
choosing whether you would prefer
to sit on white or black sand when you
admire a south pacific view which has
inspired words you give to lighthouses,
and a love of home as great as my own.

When the time has come for season’s change
and for trees to again stand naked in the rain,
I will return to this place and think of you -
judging distance with a sailor's eyes , while
taking your ocean's pulse in measured tides.
Even as time changes moments into memories,
our times together will forever turn to moments.


=================================

"excuse my french" but...DAMN this is beautiful!!
my my my ... *sigh*  
jm

only you could give love that satisfies the soul...
see the darkness of my heart and still won't let me go.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

3 posted 2001-07-22 12:18 PM


I think of you in your green winter,
choosing whether you would prefer
to sit on white or black sand when you
admire a south pacific view which has
inspired words you give to lighthouses,
and a love of home as great as my own.


Yup I'm with JM on this..... very beautiful!

Wonderful writing Jamie  

Maree

"little miss understood
little misunderstood"

~Marry me Jane~


JLR
Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785

4 posted 2001-07-22 12:49 PM


Even as time changes moments into memories,
our times together will forever turn to moments...
Distance becomes less a matter of judgment
than of instinct,  time is bent by the music,
and memory becomes slanted by desire...
Even as time changes moments into memories,
our times together will forever turn to moments...
Jamie---Thank you for the poetic celebration to what love can be!

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
5 posted 2001-07-22 10:19 AM


rwood: Thank you, and sometimes these moments just present themselves.


JM: On vous permet de dire qu'en n'importe quelle langue vous choisissez mon ami.  
Mercis.

Maree: I am glad you think so MM. You also "are allowed to say that in any language you choose". Thank you.

JLR: Thanks for reading and replying.

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2001-07-22 12:10 PM


Well I dont have a clue what you just said,,
but have mercy...it sure reads like heaven
LOL
and this BEAUTIFUL poem (with NO CLICHES)LOL  
goes back to the top

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
7 posted 2001-07-22 12:47 PM


Sorry JM-- See my reply to Maree, which is just below yours... I guess it wasn't very clear that the reference was to my reply to you..lol--- " you are allowed to say that in any language you choose"  (which of course is true )  

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

8 posted 2001-07-22 02:20 PM


étourdissant
magnifique
parfait
enchanteur
exquis

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

9 posted 2001-07-22 02:43 PM


This was so beautiful, so eloquent.  Wonderful write.  Softly smiling and dreaming over here now.  *s*

On the wings of words our spirits fly....and our souls are free.
~Me~

Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
10 posted 2001-07-22 03:34 PM


JM:  

Gentle Spirit: Thanks very much, I am glad you like it.  

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

11 posted 2001-07-22 05:21 PM


Magnifico
Bellissima
Carina



"little miss understood
little misunderstood"

~Marry me Jane~


vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
12 posted 2001-07-22 05:24 PM


enjoy
Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
13 posted 2001-07-22 08:18 PM


vandana - glad you did, and thanks for reading it.

Maree - and i bet you didn't need a translator....heh

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

furlong
Member
since 2001-04-08
Posts 129

14 posted 2001-07-25 12:48 PM


very nice jamie.

many very solid and compelling images, but for some reason the very first line is what grabs me. Simple, clear and yet evocative.

a near perfect first line in fact!

thanks

F

Dulcinea
Senior Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 774
IN
15 posted 2001-07-25 03:19 PM


This was very beautifully and sweetly written...I loved the title too, it says it all...  
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
16 posted 2001-07-25 05:56 PM


"Raindrops scattering tiny prisms
lend a surrealness to the scene
as the clear drops mottle the clouds.
Distance becomes less a matter of judgment
than of instinct,  time is bent by the music,
and memory becomes slanted by desire."


you are fueling my ache for rain......sigh....love this  

Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

17 posted 2001-07-25 06:33 PM


Beautifully written Jamie..loved it.

          ~Victoria~

Every child is an artist. The challenge is to remain an artist once he grows up.

                                            Pablo Picasso


Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
18 posted 2001-07-25 07:37 PM


excellent Jamie. . .

I love the wonderful images that you've used here. . . so warm and full of memories. . . a love that will never end. . .

thank you. . .  

----------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
19 posted 2001-07-25 07:44 PM


Beutifully written
I admire so much your poetic talents
And I would be so honored if I were the subject of this wonderful poem.
It would be safely kept in my heart
Superb!
Liz

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
20 posted 2001-07-25 09:17 PM


"Distance becomes less a matter of judgment
than of instinct,  time is bent by the music,
and memory becomes slanted by desire."

Jamie:  This is excellent poetry and so obvious with love...she and you are lucky two!

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
21 posted 2001-07-25 11:18 PM


Jamie~

'When the time has come for season’s change
and for trees to again stand naked in the rain,
I will return to this place and think of you -'


This memory could not be written lovelier than you have done.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
                                 noles1@totcon.com              

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

22 posted 2001-07-26 04:44 AM


I remember driving back from Charlotte up into those hills and they were so beautiful...the mist, the green, the clouds - it was all so beautiful.

Thank you dear - for this and for you.

K


Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
23 posted 2001-07-27 01:17 AM


Gee Furlong, I don't quite know what to say, 'cept maybe your reply was perfect as well....heh.. Thanks!  

Dulcinea: Thanks very much.

SEA: I could send you some, but we are still around 6" under for the year thus far. Thanks  

Victoria: Thanks for thinking so, and thanks for saying it as well.

Sven: No, Thank YOU  

Liz: Thanks ever so much your kindness...

Marge: Thanks, I had a great memory to work with.

K: Yes, you were...   Thanks dear

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
24 posted 2001-07-31 08:13 AM


You've written a perfect picture of a beautiful experience....I feel the love in here, Jamie.  
Jamie
Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168
Blue Heaven
25 posted 2001-07-31 06:53 PM


Thank you ever so much Sharon. You know what seeing your name in my replies means to me.  

take care kind lady

There is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar.
byron

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

26 posted 2001-08-30 09:42 PM


JamieSweetie, your poem brought out in mOi a trickle of tears...

It is honest2goodness a truly magnificent write and hugs2uPoetFriend on sharing this with all of us...

*~coco~*

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

27 posted 2003-01-18 06:08 AM


And I found it...and on reading...let me say I'm both happy and proud - and I think you deserved it...(wanna do an announcement!!)

K

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
28 posted 2003-03-17 10:13 PM


Jamie,
Very excellent! A well deserved award.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
29 posted 2004-04-16 12:33 PM


glad I didn't miss this one...needed it today
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