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brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland

0 posted 2001-07-21 03:27 PM


this thread in Feelings will explain my reasons

/pip/Forum1/HTML/000475.html

Take care my fellow poets and friends.
----------------------
I am Alice,
     Ever-changing
Some days growing
Only then to  
Shrink!
the inflatable girl in plaster Paris
Words tumbling down the rabbit hole,
to quote myself "recessing, recessing more."

In autumn collage, you guided me
out of jabbering streets
to a quaint coffee shop.
We took our plastic trays
to our plastic table, ill-seated
with the roosting priests and nuns.
In such company
you confessed,
summer brought you love
wrapped in a swaying dress.
With those words,
our brew matured,
its milky swirls brushing
inertia from our lives,
as we abandoned the murky Side Gate…

In Bewleys,
We huddled where poetic icons
once penned moments out of history,
all the while sipping tea
and just talked
Of lucent nothings.
Wild hares unravelled to
Orient-Décor Transcending
as we trailed onto
the Queen George's Court
You sheltered me
from predatory advances
with their eyes pining
for the head of Alice
"Off with his head!" Now.

I am Alice,
   forever-treasuring
my friends. No,
I am not Alice!
for Alice forgot her wonderland
Through the Looking glass!
Poor Alice forever
without checkmate.



I am Dorothy,
Then
      Ever-Changing,
Subject in part to Uncle's schizophrenia,
I utter Geinsberg, "great minds gone to waste."

She burns a hit
of nicotine;
a sickly semi-pale
semi-freckled child
vomiting its venomous
odour. Even in the open street
I despise its musk
and all of its attachments.
Such is the nature of the addict
they never mean to insult,
and I should know,
kneeled over a shaved bone.
Touching from a distance
across generations,
bridging the gaps mid-sentence.
Curse my mule logic
It is nothing of value in
what matters
of the heart (?)
From the margin of maternity's
silence vow we know our the depths
of our bound, and that is enough for now.

At an early age I developed
"The Alice Syndrome"
My relationships had always been
fraught, establishing no connection
from my stay
in Primal education.
I left its dim lecture halls
in the role of the voyeur,  
the child always on the sidelines
of the playground and gym hall.
Then came college, It was the
catalyst key opening my cocoon.
I became Dorothy, commuting
from Kansas.  In the recluse carriage
you found me, "What have you hide?"
This question I would soon turn on you.
There was a happy ending
placed here, a smile a love blossoming
but words can kill, a simple "yes"
sours fondest memory.

I am Alice,
Once I pleaded
take to OZ,
take me to her arms.

I keep a leash
on my emotions
awaiting that phone call.
Still a creature of habit
I want to forget, just
wake up to reconnect,
but it is a foolish seed
I tried god I tried
to explain.
I don't see it as my fault,
I think I remained calm and open,
Still I am awaiting…….
Alice tumbling down,
This should have ended differently
I wrote verses for you
and now it is replaced
With this, all because of "yes".
Even if we never talk again
I ask that you don't fade to black

We slip into our silence,
uncertainty rules.
I am recessing.

I am Alice, ripped
at the heart.
I hate melodrama,
self pity rants
BUT I NEED TO SCREAM.
Farewell wonderland,
Oz seems lost!

I am Alice
now
Alone.

Recessing,
recessing ever more
                    e
                      e
                        e
                         .
                           .
                             .

© Copyright 2001 brian madden - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2001-07-21 04:23 PM


In such company
you confessed,
summer brought you love
wrapped in a swaying dress.
With those words,
our brew matured,
its milky swirls brushing
inertia from our lives,
as we abandoned the murky Side Gate…

In Bewleys,
We huddled where poetic icons
once penned moments out of history,
all the while sipping tea
and just talked
Of lucent nothings.
===========================

I keep a leash
on my emotions
awaiting that phone call.
Still a creature of habit
I want to forget, just
wake up to reconnect,
but it is a foolish seed
I tried god I tried
to explain.
I don't see it as my fault,
I think I remained calm and open,
Still I am awaiting…….
Alice tumbling down,
This should have ended differently
I wrote verses for you
and now it is replaced
With this, all because of "yes".
Even if we never talk again
I ask that you don't fade to black

We slip into our silence,
uncertainty rules.
I am recessing.

I am Alice, ripped
at the heart.
I hate melodrama,
self pity rants
BUT I NEED TO SCREAM.
Farewell wonderland,
Oz seems lost!
=========================


Much to ponder here Bri...
I am always taken back at the depth of self exploration and the sheer intelligence of your writings...
the imagery in this piece is impressive..
but its the passionate plea of emotions that strike me the most.
I'll be in touch.
me

only you could give love that satisfies the soul...
see the darkness of my heart and still won't let me go.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2001-07-21 07:28 PM



Oz is in our minds....

but I know where the yellow bricks are buried....

we're here...if and when....

when, soon....

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
3 posted 2001-07-21 09:14 PM


Brian this is so tumultuous, I'm sorry you are hurting. Stunning piece of work from it, but I hope the feeling of recessing passes soon.
Sandra

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
4 posted 2001-07-22 05:07 AM


I hope we'll meet again some day
For you my dear have lots to say
Your pain inside has to be mend
For that it's courage I will send
I wish you the best with all my heart
And hope you'll find a fresh new start

So long Brian

Titia

A rose is a rose is a rose...I guess...
Feel free to use the pictures on my website. [URL=http://communities.msn.com/Titiasplace/]http://communities.

Sven
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
5 posted 2001-07-23 07:29 PM


now this is why I'm sad to see you go. . . this is the most insightful work I've read from you. . .

it's a work that explains further the hurt that you've gone through. . . and what your heart has faced. . .

and it doesn't belong here on page 3!!  

we'll be here Brian. . . whenever you need us. . .  

----------------------------------------------------------------

To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world.

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2001-07-23 07:45 PM


brian--I don't know what to say...I am overwhelmed by the you in this poem...just, hugs for now.  Okay?

[This message has been edited by Martie (edited 07-23-2001).]

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

7 posted 2001-07-23 08:35 PM


Brian, this is so emotive and passionate. A fantastic write. I am sorry you hurt, take care and hope to see you back real soon.

Hugs

Maree.

"little miss understood
little misunderstood"

~Marry me Jane~


Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

8 posted 2001-07-23 08:42 PM


Whatever it is that has broken your heart, I'm so sorry. You will be missed while you are gone. I hope you will find your way back very soon. (((HUGS)))
Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

9 posted 2001-07-24 12:57 PM


you have to appreciate any work someone obviously spends a lot of effort on and puts a great deal of themselves into.  Enjoyed the read.
Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
10 posted 2001-07-25 12:02 PM


I will miss a fellow poet from the old sod.  As has been previously said, we will be here for your return.
Voiceless
Senior Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 686
Under the stars upon the wind
11 posted 2001-07-25 04:22 PM


A terrific poem,
excellent..
We will be awaiting your
return i hopes to read
some more of your great work.
Hopefully It will all work out.
Ba bye...

Freedom is not Free (Korean War memorial)

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

12 posted 2001-07-26 02:39 AM


I don't know what happened Brian...but I shall miss you and will rejoice upon your return.  

I love the allusions in this piece. But you do whatever you have to do to take care of YOU. HUGS.

muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
13 posted 2004-01-20 12:35 PM


wishing
but failing
im sorry

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
14 posted 2004-04-16 12:24 PM


glad you didn't stay gone
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